Don't know which hand to hold the whip in? Get sex, love, relationship advice from Mistress Lera by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.
Dear Mistress Lera,
I met this chick who says she's polyamorous. I'm not savvy when it comes to stuff like this, because I'm a pretty straightforward guy, so I was hoping that you could explain to me what exactly polyamory is. Does it mean I have a free pass into her pants? If so, any idea how I can get with her quicker?
Dear Inquiring Mind,
You're lucky you asked me this via email. If you would have asked the same question in person, I would have smacked you on the head because you are an ignorant fool. Just because a woman claims to be polyamorous, it doesn't mean that she would jump in the sack with any asshole she meets on the street.
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Now, before I totally lose it, allow me to define polyamory. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, polyamory is "the fact of having simultaneous close relationships with two or more individuals, especially in regard to matters of sexual fidelity."
What angers me the most is that polyamory is used very loosely nowadays. Many think that it's an excuse to get into someone's knickers -- or my favorite -- an excuse to cheat. I've often heard statements such as "I am polyamorous therefore I can screw as many partners as I like without any regards for their feelings" or " a person claims to be polyamorous therefore he/she is easy. So I may fuck him/her with no strings attached." I call bullshit! As with any sexual lifestyle, there are rules to follow, and polyamory should in no way be confused with total hedonistic polyfuckery.
As it happens, there are some people in polyamorous relationships who stay very faithful to their partners. Moreover, even when polyamory has a slight tinge of sexual uninhibited-ness, there's usually a very strong emotional attachment with rules and structure to follow. Polyfuckery, on the other hand, is just straight polyfuckery, i.e. getting down with many without giving two shits about any.
As The Stranger columnist Mistress Matisse wrote in her article, "I dislike transparently opportunistic lechers (of any gender) cocking their finger at me and saying 'Hey, babe-- I'm polyamorous,' as if the mere phrase were an all access pass into my pants."