Here, for your perusal, are 18 surprising things we learned this afternoon, courtesy of a press release sent to us from FilmOn.TV:
1. FilmOn.TV is a website that exists.
2. Andy Dick is still alive.
3. Andy Dick has his own weekly, live TV show on the Internet.
4. Pauly Shore is still alive.
5. Pauly Shore made an appearance on Andy Dick's Internet TV show.
6, This was not enough to induce the 2012 apocalypse, so we are all probably going to survive into 2013.
7. Andy Dick has always wanted to do a sequel of In the Army Now.
8. He has spent enough time thinking about this to come up with a title for said sequel: In the Army Again.
9. Get it?
10. He would also like the plot to revolve around "[rescuing] Katey Parry from a USO show gone bad or something."
11. The people at FilmOn.TV are not so good at spell-checking their press releases.
12. Pauly Shore has not yet hit rock bottom, because he's on board.
13. FilmOn.TV CEO and alleged billionaire Alki David will financially back the project, proving supervillains do exist in real life.
14. This was not enough to induce the 2012 apocalypse, so we are all probably going to survive into 2013.
15. Other people who are still alive and "working": Kato Kaelin, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, and Janice Dickenson.
16. They all also have Internet TV shows on FilmOn.TV.
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17. This was not enough to induce the 2012 apocalypse, so we are all probably going to survive into 2013.
18. But maybe we no longer want to.