I used to think living in Miami was hard. It's pretty tough dealing with the traffic, the heat, and the chulos psst-psst-ing at you when you're just trying to walking down the street in peace. But I was wrong. Living in the 305 is easy in comparison to the Big Apple. New York is a bitch. And like many bitches in my life, though our relationship is going to be tough, I like her.
I also like the happenings in her life -- especially New York Fashion Week. But there are people who don't enjoy the next seven days of style. There's even a name for them: models. Here's why the girls on the runway are feeling the bitch's burn this week:
Starvin' Marvin
At fashion week in Miami, you get to watch bodacious ladies in teenie-weenie bikinis strut their stuff. Are there the occasional twig-shaped models? Of course. But most Miami models have adult women's bodies. New York models, on the other hand, have the bodies of pubescent boys. Don't take my word for it. Check out this pic from Houghton's presentation:
Yes, that's her spine. I'm not hating -- girl is just doing her job of being able to fit into a pre-teen size XS. Really, I just want to make her some rice & beans and put her on her way.
Head-to-Toe Tiredness
During the adventure that is Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, I'm sure I'll uncover plenty of differences between Miami's fashion week and this one. Here's a big one: In New York, there are shows, and then there are presentations. I don't know if one is the ugly stepchild of the other, but they are very, very different. During a fashion show, one model walks down the runaway once, or maybe twice. Even with 50 outfits, the show takes about 20 minutes, and each model is paid to walk down the runaway and be done. Then there are presentations. If I were a model, and presentations were my only option, I'd probably quit and take up telemarketing on the weekends.
During presentations, models stand on a platform anywhere from two to four hours, occasionally walking down a little path for photographers to take pictures. My name for that little strut is The Walk of Shame. Once that's done, the girls go back to standing in one place wearing five- to eight-inch heels. Yes, just standing there. Any girl with a closet full of stilettos will tell you that is tough.
One model referred to this practice as a "line-up of hookers in
couture." If you're going to be a hooker, I guess you might as well do
it in fashion's finest.
Rise & Try to Shine
When my head left my pillow at 7 a.m. Thursday morning after arriving at LaGuardia Airport at midnight, I was less than psyched. But when you are told to be at one of the hottest shows, Nicholas K, at 9 a.m., you set your alarm. Once at Lincoln Center, I realized it was all worth the extra-weighty bags beneath my eyes. The brother and sister fashion duo that is Nicholas K shut it down.
Once the show was done, the designers headed off to see more shows, attend parties, or went back to the office to start working on their 2013 line. For the models I met backstage, however, life wasn't quite as sweet. They were headed to the next gig, likely a hellish presentation. My eye-bags sagged a little more just thinking about it.
Day One Highlight
The models may be starving and exhausted, but I'm having a fabulous time. The highlight of my trip so far? Celebrity sightings. I don't see this ever getting old. Today, I caught Elle's Joe Zee and The Descendants' Shailene Woodley walking into Lincoln Center. I also spotted hottie Kellan Lutz at the Joseph Abboud show, and let me just say, the kid is somehow hotter in person.
Sadly, he wasn't shirtless.
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