#1001MiamiWaysToDie: The Best Tweets, And Our Suggestions

Merely existing in Miami during Memorial Day Weekend, for example.
Merely existing in Miami during Memorial Day Weekend, for example.
Logan Fazio

We'll admit it. Watching 1,000 Ways to Die on Spike is one of our favorite, slightly sick pleasures. So many wacky, wickedly stupid ways to star in your own snuff film, so little time!

In that same morbid vein, we were pretty stoked to see #1001MiamiWaystoDie pop up as a trending Twitter hashtag yesterday afternoon. Looks like it originated with our favorite Cuban puppet, the infamous Pepe Billete, who has a habit of making things like this go viral. #comemierdainmovietitles, anyone?

From genuinely dangerous disasters (hurricanes, driving) to improbable hypothetical situations (morphing into a certain detested sportscaster), it turns out in Miami, the Grim Reaper waits around every corner. Luckily, he's actually a hilarious jokester.

Here are a few of our faves, courtesy of Pepe and some other witty locals:


@pepebillete: Actually try to keep up partying with a Colombian family on New Years.

"Drive" might be a bit of an overstatement.
"Drive" might be a bit of an overstatement.
Goins Flickr

Goins Flickr
"Drive" might be a bit of an overstatement.
@pepebillete

Upcoming Events

: Drive home after buying that used Honda in Little Havana.

@pepebillete: Be black and talk back to a cop on the beach during Memorial Day Weekend.

Our traffic fatalities aren't all based on accidents, y'know. Ever hear of road rage?
Our traffic fatalities aren't all based on accidents, y'know. Ever hear of road rage?
[phil h] Flickr

[phil h] Flickr
Our traffic fatalities aren't all based on accidents, y'know. Ever hear of road rage?
@SobeProbz

: Honk the horn at someone.

She brought you into this world -- she'll take you out of it.
She brought you into this world -- she'll take you out of it.
Wikipedia

Wikipedia
She brought you into this world -- she'll take you out of it.
@stevensnotcool

: Spending your money on pastelitos when your mom really gave it to you to spend it on santeria gear.

Wikipedia
Heat haters not welcome.
@sportsoompa

: Be Skip Bayless.

@QueRicoMeng: Forgetting it is memorial day weekend on the beach.

Crosswalks, people.
Crosswalks, people.
Ivan Plata Flickr

Ivan Plata Flickr
Crosswalks, people.
@jennifer_gonz

J-walk on 49th Street in Hialeah.

Tropical breezes.
Tropical breezes.
NASA Earth Observatory Flickr

NASA Earth Observatory Flickr
Tropical breezes.
@ctraffik

: Hurricane __(insert name here)__.

And a few additions from the Cultist crew:

Unleaded is not an option.
Unleaded is not an option.
ChrisGoldNY Flickr

ChrisGoldNY Flickr
Unleaded is not an option.

Request a decaf colada.

The ultimate danger sport.
The ultimate danger sport.
saikofish Flickr

saikofish Flickr
The ultimate danger sport.

Ride your bike. Anywhere.

No one wants to hear Margaritaville for the 13,456,223th time.
No one wants to hear Margaritaville for the 13,456,223th time.
kentonlrussell Flickr

kentonlrussell Flickr
No one wants to hear Margaritaville for the 13,456,223th time.

Play Jimmy Buffett on the jukebox at

the Deuce.

We get the warm fuzzies just thinking of all the special ways to meet your maker in the Magic City. Got any good ones to add?

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.


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