Six Signs You're an Old-School Dolphins' Fan

Six Signs You're an Old-School Dolphins' Fan
Image courtesy State Archives of Florida / floridamemory.com
Old-school fans still sing this song.

Outsiders love to poke fun at Miami Marlins crowds and Miami Heat fans who arrive late, but few dare question Miami Dolphins devotees' loyalty. Dolphins fans are exempt from that narrative for good reason. Before the Heat came around in 1988, the Dolphins were all this town had. It makes sense that the fandom runs deeper.

So how do you know if you're a seasoned, tried-and-true, old-school Fins fan? Take this test:

You still call it Joe Robbie Stadium. It may be Pro Player, Dolphin, LandShark, or Sun Life Stadium to some, but it will always be Joe Robbie Stadium to old-school Fins fans. Oh, you're getting used to Sun Life, are you? In 2015 the name will once again change, because just a year after Sun Life Financial signed on for the naming rights, the company moved out of the United States.

You believe the number 19 is cursed. No Dolphins player since Bernie Kosar has worn number 19 and succeeded, and it's no longer a coincidence — it's haunting. Doubt the curse if you want, but diehard Dolphins fans know that number's powers. From Ted Ginn to Brandon Marshall, anyone who puts on that jersey is toast. Armon Binns tested the theory last season when he signed with the Dolphins and promptly tore up his knee, missing the entire season.

You remember The Dan Marino Show. O.G. Dolphins fans will never forget this Zubaz-pants-and-Isotoner-glove-filled awesomeness. It was taped days before it aired, but it didn't matter, because back then we didn't have Twitter to tell us every time a player farts, so it was must-see TV. This show felt more like a Miami Dolphins football game than today's actual Miami Dolphins games do.

Bokamper is a person, not a place you get drunk and shovel nachos into your fat face. Yes, Kim Bokamper is a man, not just the owner of the place where your ex-girlfriend works! Once upon a time, Bokamper and the owner of another popular bar in South Florida, Bob Brudzinski, ran everything on the Dolphins defense. Now when they hear "Bokamper" or "Bru," most Dolphins fans think $9 Corona buckets and chicken wings. If these two names bring you back to a better time in Dolphins history and not just the time your friend puked and started a fight, you're probably an old-time fan.

You can quote every line from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The film came out 20 years ago, and it still holds up for Dolphins fans, who watched this movie till the VHS tape didn't work anymore. To this day they still randomly yell, "Laces out, Dan!" while watching games, which greatly confuses younger fans.

Don Shula makes you think Dolphins greatness, not just great hamburgers or hospital commercials. Shula coached for 36 years and had two losing seasons. Two! There's no way younger Dolphins fans can wrap their heads around the fact that the winningest coach in NFL history coached their team. Nowadays Shula reminds you of your sweet grandpa, but old-school Dolphins fans remember Shula wearing BluBlockers, staring a hole into their souls through the TV set like their pissed-off pops.

 
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1 comments
SoBeBouncer
SoBeBouncer

Whatever...this is the NFL and after 3 decades of failure...I moved on.

 
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