By Jacob Katel
By Laurie Charles
By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Abel Folgar
By Kat Bein
By Jacob Katel
Time to grind in the 305.
It's Memorial Day weekend, AKA Urban Beach Week. As usual, South Beach and the mainland will offer a great variety of new and old, ratchet and refined, as well as some straight gangsta lineups.
So practice your twerk, get your 26-inch chrome rims installed, and stack that paper high. Things are about to get ever so slightly turnt up. Here are the ten best parties during Memorial Day weekend 2014 in Miami.
1445 Washington Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139
Category: Bars and Clubs
Region: South Beach
17800 NE 5th Ave.
Miami, FL 33162
Region: Aventura/North Miami Beach
Hot 97's Takeover. Hosted by Love & Hip Hop's Erica Mena. With DJ Camilo, Fergie & Springer, Massive B, and DJ Young Chow. 11 p.m. Thursday, May 22, at Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Ages 21 and up. This legendary New York City hip-hop and R&B station is always on point with its classic yet eclectic mix of tunes. So expect a p-a-r-t-y that wouldn't seem out of place in an old House Party movie when Hot 97's top DJs take over the Cameo decks. Also, Erica Mena is fiiiiiine.
Fabolous. Presented by Headliner Market Group. With DJ Stevie J, Iron Lyon, and Fly Guy. 10 p.m. Thursday, May 22, at Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Ages 21 and up. Dark, moody, soulful — he's Fabolous. Now, let's hope, for Memorial Day weekend, the Brooklyn fave will spit tracks from his new, long-awaited album, Loso's Way 2: Rise to Power. Because if lead single "When I Feel Like It" is any indication, the party plan just might include fast cars, loose cash, and public fellatio. As Fab might say: Err!
Rich Homie Quan. Presented by Zoe Fam Productions and PLA Marketing Group. 10 p.m. Friday, May 23, at King of Diamonds, 17800 NE Fifth Ave., Miami; 305-999-9500; officialkod.com. Ages 21 and up. Rappers and strip clubs go together like stone crabs and mustard sauce. So naturally, the big ballers of hip-hop, including Atlanta's Rich Homie Quan, have made weekend-long reservations at Miami's world-famous King of Diamonds. Of course, enjoying the finer things like shellfish and strippers can be expensive, so y'all should expect the ladies of KOD to run train on your wallet. But just imagine the priceless emotional high that will come from simultaneously experiencing Quan's skillful, urgent flow and the skillful, urgent thrusts of topnotch exotic dancers.
Jeezy. As part of Who's Who. With E-Feezy and Don Hot. 11 p.m. Friday, May 23, at Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. It's tradition, player. Every Memorial Day weekend, Jeezy the Southern hip-hop king brings Hotlanta to the MIA. He promises "models" and "champagne" while SoBe guarantees sweaty, sweaty people to grind on.
Meek Mill and DJ Khaled. With DJ Cali B, Fergie & Springer, DJ Bulletproof, and Massive B. 11 p.m. Friday, May 23, at Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. This holiday, Miami kingpin DJ Khaled will welcome frequent collaborator Meek Mill to the 305 for an evening of convict music. They're both prepping 2014 releases, and they're both out to prove something. Thus, a warning: This party will be loud. We can already hear Khaled screaming, "Listennn! Turn up! We da best!"
Miami Madness Sunday Bar-B-Q. Hosted by Juelz Santana. With Benze Lohan, DJ Lyve, DJ Boof, DJ Epps, and DJ Seizure. Sunday, May 25, at Sea Level Lounge, 825 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 646-294-3455. Tickets cost $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Dipset stalwart Juelz Santana will host a pool party for the nation's "sexiest and mature partygoers," offering the opportunity to chill and "mingle" with all your favorite celebs. (So who knows, maybe Dame Judi Dench or Helen Mirren will be there!) And why pass up an opportunity to go to a Sunday barbecue with Juelz? Who do you think you are? Huh, bitch?
YMCMB's Memorial Weekend Takeover. With DJ Stevie J and Don P. 11 p.m. Sunday, May 25, at LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Ages 21 and up. The Young Money Cash Money folks always plan a few nice surprises when they go partyin' at LIV. So even though this year's official YMCMB lineup is still under wraps, it's highly likely that Lil Wayne will go wacko in the VIP again. And yes, he's gonna bring his billionaire friends.
Lil Boosie. 10 p.m. Sunday, May 25, at King of Diamonds, 17800 NE Fifth Ave., Miami; 305-999-9500; officialkod.com. Ages 21 and up. Let's celebrate Boosie's recent prison release by getting down with him at King of Diamonds! Now, we agree that a strip club is hardly the ideal place for a parolee, but we hope the Baton Rouge, Louisiana rapper keeps his nose clean. The Lil guy truly seems to have entered a new chapter in his life, as evidenced by his introspective "Show the World" music video. It will also be interesting to see a man of Boosie's tiny stature beside KOD's statuesque, high-heeled dancers.
Blackalicious. Presented by Poplife. 7 p.m. Sunday, May 25, at Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Tickets cost $15 to $20 plus fees via ticketfly.com. Ages 18 and up. Time to slow down a bit. Not everything about Memorial Day in Miami is wild, filthy, and decadent. Every reckless weekend needs a few funkier, groovier moments. So get down to some smooth, classy beats with Blackalicious' Gift of Gab and Chief Excel. In the words of these wise men: "Laaaaah, di-dah, da-da-dee-dah."