By Jacob Katel
By Laurie Charles
By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Abel Folgar
By Kat Bein
By Jacob Katel
Sometimes, the best bands have the worst effing names.
From unpretentious rodents to bows and arrows and bread to awkward punctuation, there are way too many musical outfits trying way too hard to be clever, selecting monikers that are nonsensical, pretentious, and even straight-up stupid.
So with that gripe in mind, here are ten indie band names that annoy the crap out of us.
1700 Washington Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139
Category: Music Venues
Region: South Beach
Modest Mouse — We've heard this band name so much that it has ceased to mean anything, like Death Cab for Cutie. But let's take a step back and think about the sheer ridiculousness of this one. "What's up? I'm a really successful rodent, like Fievel or Remy, but I'm still totally self-deprecating. Name your band after me!"
!!! — Now, what genius thought up this nonsense? Way to make it impossible for anyone to talk about you. We now know we're supposed to refer to you as Chk-Chk-Chk, but we still call you "that effing exclamation point band" as a matter of principle.
Fun. — Yes, the full stop is an official part of the band name. And as we all know, after you enter a period in a word processor, the computer automatically capitalizes the first letter that comes after it, because a period typically signifies the end of a sentence. So it's a miracle that Fun. has done so well, because it is literally the most annoying band name for anyone to type into the middle of a sentence. Fun, especially for journalists, is not having to use the backspace key every two freaking minutes to change auto-grammar into something that makes no sense.
Neutral Milk Hotel — There was once an episode of Parks and Recreation in which Aubrey Plaza's character, April, claimed that her favorite band was Neutral Milk Hotel. We'd bet cold, hard cash that 95 percent of people watching the show thought it was a moniker made up in a fit of on-set improv. Too ridiculous to actually be a thing, right?
Archers of Loaf — This one still lives on as one of the worst band names in the history of band names. The reasons are glaringly obvious.
Portugal. The Man — More full-stop abuse — only this time it's in the middle and not at the end. What's the point of this? And who in hell is that dude Portugal anyway?
Planes Mistaken for Stars — When this awesome Denver band came out, we and some friends formed an emo quintet called Calculating When to Make a Dash for the Summit just to try to outdo them. No joke.
Jimmy Eat World — Sounds like the title of a geography-themed pornographic film. Awful. Just awful.
Sleigh Bells — Effing Sleigh Bells? You're a duo that specializes in creating gargantuan walls of noise with sinister yet sweet vocals, and you choose to name yourself after the sound that children hear when Santa flies over the house on Christmas Eve. So weak.
tUnE-yArDs — Hey, Merrill Garbus. We like you and everything, but we can't help wondering whether you came up with this band name when you were 8 years old and just discovering caps lock. Can't we just call you Merrill Garbus and be done with it?