Finding a lover is quite easy if you lower your standards to someone who looks like a warthog. Warthogs, after all, have been doing it for years.
Many romantic lessons can be learned from the animal kingdom. Some are practical (always chew off the head of your lover after he impregnates you) and others merely common sense (take enough lovers so your community feels obligated to raise the offspring as its own). But for some of the more shocking and rib-tickling ways that animals make more animals, you’ll want to grab a ticket for Friday’s Sex and the Animals.
Sex and the Animals is Ron Magill’s enormously popular annual presentation at Zoo Miami (12400 SW 152nd St., Miami). Magill is the zoo’s goodwill ambassador, a title that gives him diplomatic immunity at dog parks throughout the world. He’s been touring the show for some time, honing his mix of weird animal mating facts and a humor far more gentle than the rutting of mountain goats might otherwise inspire. Not convinced? There are visual aids. Oh, yes, there are visual aids.
General admission is $35, which includes a wine and cheese reception from 7 to 7:45 p.m. (the main event begins at 8), and the $85 VIP package also includes dinner, dessert, and enough beer and wine to make that macaque resemble your ex. Discounts are available for zoo members. It’s a perfect date night for you and your scaliest sweetie. Visit miamimetrozoo.com.
Fri., Feb. 14, 7-10 p.m., 2014