Avoid Garbage Like Touchy Feely

Magnolia Pictures

Location Info

Map

Bill Cosford Cinema

1111 Memorial Drive
Coral Gables, FL 33146

Category: Movie Theaters

Region: Coral Gables/South Miami

Details

Starring Rosemarie DeWitt, Josh Pais, and Ellen Page. Directed by Lynn Shelton. 98 minutes. Rated R. Opens Friday, September 20, at Bill Cosford Cinema.

Just as tedious as waiting in a dentist's office for an hour and a half, Lynn Shelton's latest fumblingly cutesy outing ought to be her last. (Sadly, it is not — she's already wrapped production on a dark comedy starring Keira Knightley and Sam Rockwell.) Using a script instead of semi-improvised dialogue, her vanilla leads float through Seattle, alternately succeeding and being punished by their ability to heal others. Abby (Rosemarie DeWitt) is a masseuse about to move in with her rebound boyfriend until she inexplicably develops a severe phobia of touching skin; her brother Paul's (Josh Pais, a significantly less funny version of Ben Stiller's "uptight schlub") dental practice experiences a sudden turnaround after he fixes a patient's rare jaw disease, and other sufferers aggressively flock to him for help. Worse than the goofy premise, Shelton fails to enliven the incredibly talk-heavy (but subtext-free) inaction with any sort of visual flair. The moments when Abby suddenly realizes how "gross" skin is are painfully bad, layering "scary" music (quavering orchestration in minor key) over extreme closeups of backs and thighs. (They're also confusing — at first I thought she was afraid of getting old.) Ellen Page is completely wasted as Paul's daughter, not given any juicy one-liners or enough screen time to elicit empathy for her not-so-deeply entrenched inertia. The low-stakes dullness on display here is yet more evidence of an independent film scene that's been overrun by producers who have no qualms about turning out low-budget versions of Hollywood rom-com dreck in the hopes of big returns on their investments. (Your Sister's Sister was made for $125,000 and grossed $1.6 million.) Avoiding garbage like this is civic duty.

 
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