Professional sports has become a foundation for the idolatry of modern-day gladiators, raising men to the heights of worship usually reserved for great conquerors and warriors. But in these modern times, roaring orgies with dancing slave girls and hearths overstuffed with undercooked meats have been replaced by autograph signings and all-you-can-eat-and-drink shrimp and beer. And that’s exactly what the Miami Touchdown Club, the 54-year-old organization that promotes amateur football, brings to Finnegan’s River (401 SW Third Ave., Miami) this Tuesday at 7 p.m. At NFL Shrimp and Beer Night, organization members pay $30 and guests shell out $40 to share endless crustaceans and brew with former Miami Dolphins icons Mark Duper and Keith Byars. Ask them about the good old days of when the Fins would actually make it to the playoffs, or make fun of how Dan Marino would wear Zubaz pants and Isotoner gloves on the sidelines during games. By the end of the night, there are bound to be some interesting happenings inspired by the free-flowing alcohol.
Tue., Sept. 17, 7 p.m., 2013