It has all the makings of the most fabulous heist movie ever. Check this rag-tag team: gossip blogger Perez Hilton, Grammy-winning Motown diva Thelma Houston, and RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race champion Chad Michaels. They are teaming up to steal your heart at the finals of the Ultimate Miami Drag Queen competition this Saturday at Magic City Casino (450 NW 37th Ave., Miami).
The trio will preside over the contest, in which drag queens will beat their faces and serve the hits for a chance at $5,000. The winner will be the ultimate drag queen in Miami for 2013, a position with as many responsibilities as privileges. Any do-gooder can put a smile on the faces in Jackson Memorial’s burn ward, but imagine what the ultimate drag queen can do with her makeup kit and judicious use of a few rhinestone appliqués. Plus, it’s a known fact that everyone in South Florida will have to pose for a mug shot at some point, and we rely on our ultimate drag queen to do community outreach, showing us how to turn our bookings into flirty, sickening photo shoots.
On Saturday, we’re gonna have a kiki. Fellas, feel free to tuck in solidarity. Ladies, learn a little something about contouring and how to wear heels like you aren’t caught in an earthquake. Your $40 ticket includes a drink, parking, and hors d’oeuvres. It does not include immunity from getting read to filth, bitch, so watch your step.
VIP tables cost $300 for four seats and include a bottle of champagne. You must be 21 or older, and it wouldn’t hurt if you were fierce too. The show begins at 9 p.m. Visit theultimatemiami.com
Sat., July 13, 9 p.m., 2013