It’s official: the Miami Marlins suck. They suck so bad that this Monday’s opponents, interdivisional rivals the Atlanta Braves, have more than twice the number of home runs as the Fish and are getting really close to having twice the wins. The Marlins trail the second-worst team in the league, the Houston Astros, by a full five games. This season, Miami can’t win baseball games, can’t score any runs, and leads the league in players whom no one can name. The sole shining exception is Giancarlo Stanton, who’ll soon get traded for three do-nothing minor-leaguers and then win the MVP award somewhere else.
At least the Fish have a *CK: 6-4 record in their last ten games and set a franchise road pitching record by holding opponents to three or fewer runs in seven consecutive games. It would be particularly nice to stick it to the Braves, who always stick it to the Marlins during good times. The two teams face off at 7:10 p.m. at Marlins Park (501 Marlins Way, Miami). Tickets cost $9 to $410; there’s also a special All You Can Eat Mondays ticket that costs $22 to $32 depending on seat location. Visit marlins.com or call 877-MARLINS.
Mon., July 8, 7:10 p.m., 2013