Extra-Vehicular Activities

Imagine 2 Chainz and French Montana in the parking lot of the world’s largest custom car show and concert tour. They just performed and are ready for some high-stakes fun, so they’re gambling their own cars at the DUB Show. In each of their hands is the pink slip to their personal automobile. French has the Lambo, and 2 Chainz has the ’Rari. They’re gonna doughnut race in the parking lot, and the winner keeps the other guy’s customized ride. Flo Rida, Andre 3000, and Eminem are the judges, cause hey, you never know who might show up to the event billing itself as “the world’s largest custom car show and concert tour.” Bushwick Bill, the little person from the Geto Boys, drops a checkered flag. French Montana screams, “Pop that, clutch!” 2 Chainz bellows, “I am smokin’ on that gas!” Their screeching wheels send up clouds of burning rubber as their steel horses draw figure-eights around each other in obeisance to the gods of petrol. But the real show is inside the Miami Beach Convention Center (1901 Convention Center Dr., Miami Beach), where more nitro-fueled custom cars, trucks, SUVs, exotics, and cycles are perched like falcons on the rich arm of South Beach. Dozens of vendors, hundreds of showmobiles, and the six-ton bass booming from the DJ’s speakers rattle the floor and everybody on it.
Sat., May 18, 3 p.m., 2013

 
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