See? Food!

If there’s one thing sushi lovers can agree upon, it’s that the best way to enjoy the stuff is by cramming as much of it in your mouth hole during a frenzied five-minute battle against decency. Usually, the most dedicated cod gobblers toil without recognition, in basements lit by a single, swaying naked bulb or hidden behind tarpaulins held by concerned citizens. But on the day of the annual RA Sushi Showdown sushi-eating contest, these unsung heroes will show the world what they can do, whether the world wants to see it or not. In the first round, 24 competitors will eat as many uncut Tootsy Maki rolls as they can in three minutes. In the finals, the top six will eat as much as they can in five minutes. To enter, register at an RA Sushi restaurant by this Thursday. The grand-prize winner will get $600 in RA Sushi gift certificates, but all will be haunted for life by the specters of the crabs and shrimp who died for the competitors’ gluttony. RA Sushi will also be offering specials for weirdoes who enjoy a light meal and a drink, such as the Tokyo Tussle Roll ($7) or the Half Court Bomb ($6), a subtle concoction of Red Bull and Jägermeister. Sunday is also World Health Day, and WHO is promoting high blood pressure as its cause for 2013. So join up and get that blood pressure of yours as high as possible. More tempura batter and soy sauce, please! It’s for charity, after all.
Sun., April 7, 3 p.m., 2013

 
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