Marco Rubio Loves Tupac and Terrible EDM

Marco Rubio might be on his way to becoming one of the most powerful men in Washington, but that doesn't mean he's lost his common touch. Florida's junior senator unleashed his official Spotify playlist on the world last week, and it turns out his taste in music is pretty much that of the average Y100 listener.

We've put together a track-by-track analysis of what Rubio's jams tell us about him:

1. Calvin Harris, "Feel So Close." So, for which weekend of Ultra did Rubio buy tickets?

Mark Poutenis

2. Flo Rida, "Good Feeling." He probably wanted to get some hometown pride on the list and decided that "Whistle," Flo Rida's fifth-grade-innuendo ode to fellatio, wasn't quite befitting a senator.

3. Phillip Phillips, "Home." This pick scores points for being the least worst American Idol coronation song ever. That doesn't save it from being an American Idol coronation song.

4. Foster the People, "Pumped Up Kicks." Come on, Rubio, this is, like, so 2011.

5. U2, "Where the Streets Have No Name." Nice job choosing a U2 track from the Joshua Tree era, before the band embraced its status as the world's premier dad-rock band.

6. Matt Redman, "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)." Obviously, he's gotta make sure he pleases his Christian base.

7. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida." Whoops, he just lost those early-era-U2 cool points for picking the world's premier U2 dad-rock-era cover band.

8. Tupac, "Changes." The sad irony of a Republican senator loving this song is almost too much to bear. If Rubio burned CDs of this track for every Republican on Capitol Hill, how many congressmen would realize, "Wait, our policies are kind of racist"?

9. Swedish House Mafia and John Martin, "Don't You Worry Child." It's only a matter of a time until pro-life circles take this up as a theme song.

10. Newsboys, "Stray Strong." Another Christian rock song, which just makes us wonder why he didn't list DC Talk's "Jesus Freak."

11. The Script, "Hall of Fame," featuring Will.i.am. Nothing involving Will.i.am is defensible.

12. Gary Allen, "Every Storm (Runs Out of White)." Remember when Romney sources told the media that Rubio wouldn't be picked as vice president because Mittens wanted a "boring white guy," and you were just sitting there thinking, Wait, isn't Rubio a boring white guy? Proof: He listens to Gary Allen!

13. Carlos Vives, "Fruta Fresca." And here's the one reminder that Rubio isn't quite a boring white guy.

14. Pitbull, "Bon, Bon." Guess he's trying to squash that beef he started with Pitbull by telling GQ that the rapper's lyrics have "no message."

15. The Sugarhill Gang, "Rapper's Delight." Even Sarah Palin admitted on Fox News that she knows the words to this song.

16. Kanye West, Big Sean, and Jay-Z, "Clique." This track gets a lot less cool when you imagine Rubio listening to it while he's heading to the Hill with Rand Paul and Jim DeMint to try to enact entitlement reform.

 
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