At the Model Beach Volleyball Tournament, there’s something for everyone, not just for those wanting an excuse to stare at nearly nude models getting sweaty. There is that, though, so determined creeps will want to have duct-taped the wrists of their “We’re Number One” foam fingers, lest their urges to self-abuse become too much to resist. See, over two sexy days of sexy tournament play, six teams of sexy models will bump, set, and spike your less-sexy heart on the sands of South Beach. Volleyball fans with a pure love of the sport will rejoice in seeing pro players like Casey Patterson and Kelly Schumacher. But come on — that’s like going to King of Diamonds because you’re a big fan of metal poles. Sexy models, people! Like TV? One of the model teams features CJ Koegel from MTV’s The Real World: Cancun. If memory serves, that was the season when a bunch of people with strange haircuts got drunk, had sex with each other, and never washed their dishes. Speaking of strange hair, for those of you who think the only thing keeping you from being a sexy model is that lice-ridden thatch on your back, representatives from European Wax Center will be on hand to advise.
Sat., Feb. 9, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun., Feb. 10, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., 2013