Bullshit for Breakfast. Sometime in the '70s, Johnny was given that infamous punk nickname, Rotten, because his teeth were crooked, decayed, and crap-encrusted. As a young punk, this was hilarious and irreverent. But apparently, a lifetime of eating big bowlfuls of your own bullshit for breakfast leads to a lot more than breath like a borstal toilet. Stuff like diabetes, dementia, and heart disease. That's why Lydon spent $22,000 in 2008 to fix his shitty smile.

Buttful of Butter. Four years after his last shameless attention stunt (i.e., a stint on the British edition of I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!), Lydon was looking to drag his music career out of the shitter. But PiL was without a record label or any other form of financial support. So Lydon hatched a crappy plan: Get a gig shilling Country Life dairy products on the telly, smuggle a big buttful of British butter money back to PiL HQ, and funnel all of that frothy lucre into band operations. And holy sweet, creamy shit! It worked! As Johnny would surely say, "I think it tastes the best!"

Johnny the Pooping Punk and PiL.
S. Bukley / Shutterstock.com
Johnny the Pooping Punk and PiL.

Eau de Toilet. If peddling dairy products is a sellout, what do you call Johnny and the Sex Pistols selling their own perfume? According to the press release, it reeks of "pure energy, pared down and pumped up by leather, shot through with heliotrope, and brought back down to earth by a raunchy patchouli." In other words, exactly like a soupy Rotten poop that's been brewing for 37 years aboard a punk tour bus to "Nowhere."

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