By Rebecca Bulnes
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Sure, Redfoo and Sky Blu sound like new lines of low-cal vodka flavors. But in reality, they're just the uncle-and-nephew duo known as LMFAO. This Friday, they'll be shuffling across the stage at the American Airlines Arena, and they're calling on all party rockers to join them.
But if you're going to wiggle with LMFAO, you've got to look the part. So we've put together this foolproof party-rocking fashion guide to get you lookin' fly. Now just follow these instructions to become a human piece of pop art freeze-dried in the '80s and microwaved yesterday!
Make a Statement. Let's start with the basics. You'll need a solid, brightly colored tank or T-shirt, preferably with the sleeves removed and cut in such a way that most of your torso is exposed. But more important than the cut is the message. A party-rocking shirt's gotta come with big, bold block letters and some kind of hashtag statement, like "Sexy and I Know It," "Sorry for Party Rocking," or "100% Organic Douche." This lets haters know you're here to bring it.
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Put on Your Party Pants. The cornerstone of any good LMFAO getup is the party pants. You need to go with the tightest and loudest ones possible. As with every other part of your ensemble, neon animal print and sequins are highly encouraged. And if you can get some patchwork leggings that pair two seizure-inducing patterns, that's even better. Also, make sure to complement your party pants with a chunky, crazy, totally inappropriate belt.
Shuffle Shocks. Because you're shuffling every day, you'll need some sensible and comfortable space shoes. You can get away with plain white sneakers, but it's more effective if you go all out and choose moon boots with the biggest tongue and brightest color palette. Remember, do not match your footwear to your shirt or pants. The name of the game is color collecting, and you're trying to catch them all.
Coif City Bitch. You have to do something with that mop on top. For classic LMFAO swag, let your curls get crazy. Tease those locks till you look like a kid playing with a fork in an electrical socket. If frizz ain't your scene, use enough gel to create a geometrical wonder.
Accessory Necessities. Decorate yourself with all sorts of LED-studded neon goodies. It'll take your party-rocking look to the next level. For starters, a great pair of hater blockers is more than necessary. Don't bother unless they're giant and bedazzled. It's always good to go with a wristband, but only on one arm, please. Rock a few gold chains and promise a bitch she can wear 'em when y'all knock moon boots later.
It's All in the Details. Of course, dressing the part is only the beginning. The little things separate the true party rockers from the posers. So be sure you're covered in sweat and alcohol stains. Let a bit of white powder linger in your nostrils. Stare off with glazed red eyes at nothing in particular. And whenever possible, don't speak, just burp.
Now gaze into the mirror. Do you look like the sort of person who would sing about doing drugs and babes with their uncle for millions of dollars? Is that creepy? Are you too drunk to respond? Then you're ready to go.