Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: Mega-Budget Chop-Socky/Grind House Schlock

The logical outer limit of the whole horror-as-metaphor thing, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter shoehorns the entire personal history of the 16th president into mega-budget The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires chop-socky/grind house schlock, and casts the seditious South as a nation of slave-sucking undead. "History," Abe (Benjamin Walker) narrates, "prefers nobility to brutality" -- a fact redressed by Seth Grahame-Smith's screenplay, in which the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies author adapts his second cutesy-clever pulp-historical mashup. Young Mr. Lincoln loses his mother -- who in real life died from drinking bad milk -- to a vampire's bite, takes up training under hunter Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper), and learns to search and destroy Nosferatu using his rail-splitter's silver-edged ax, finally setting his sights on head vampire Adam (Rufus Sewell), who lives in the ripe antebellum splendor of a Simon Legree. Shot by the estimable Caleb Deschanel and projected in wholly unnecessary 3-D, Vampire Hunter has a bleached palette that makes it the ugliest major-studio release this year, though it needs be said that Kazakh director Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) approaches the material with a degree of Eurotrash insouciance that is probably necessary to approach it at all, and crisply handles set pieces involving a horse stampede and a runaway munitions train. Possible resulting "fun" is only slightly mitigated by contemplation of the wearisome decadence of American popular culture.

 
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  1. Man of Steel, 113.1 mil, 125.1 mil
  2. This Is The End, 20.5 mil, 32.8 mil
  3. Now You See Me, 10.3 mil, 80.0 mil
  4. Fast & Furious 6, 9.4 mil, 219.6 mil
  5. The Purge, 8.2 mil, 51.8 mil
  6. The Internship, 7.0 mil, 31.0 mil
  7. Epic, 6.0 mil, 95.4 mil
  8. Star Trek Into Darkness, 5.7 mil, 210.5 mil
  9. After Earth, 3.8 mil, 54.2 mil
  10. Iron Man 3, 2.9 mil, 399.6 mil
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