No matter what your drunk roommate says, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico’s Independence Day. In fact, it’s a small regional holiday primarily celebrated in the state of Puebla. But much like St. Patrick’s Day, the holiday’s true meaning has been diluted into a boozy affair that helps places like Chili’s sell more two-for-one margaritas. Not that we’re complaining — we love a good libation. Any excuse to drink is OK with us. So if you are going to celebrate Saturday’s faux holiday (fauxliday?) like a true gringo, what better way than with a Cinco de Mayo Pub Crawl? Registration starts at Highbar at the Dream Hotel (1111 Collins Ave., Miami Beach), and from there, the crawl promises at least six stops at local watering holes located within walking distance (those stops haven’t been finalized as of press time). The cost is $5 to register, but discounts are available for groups of seven or more. That cost doesn’t cover cocktail consumption, but it will allow you to enjoy drink specials throughout the crawl. Just don’t take the term crawltoo literally. Even in Mexico, puking in a gutter is frowned upon.
Sat., May 5, 3-11 p.m., 2012