On the list of hillbilly awesomeness, monster-truck rallies fall somewhere between mudding and moonshine. Nothing screams red, white, and blue louder than a giant truck crushing imported, pansy-ass compact cars inside a 75,000-seat arena. This Saturday, head to the Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam at Sun Life Stadium for a night of steel-crushing family fun. Ignoring the negative impact that oversize vehicles have on the environment, fan favorite Grave Digger, driven by the legendary Dennis Anderson, will turn relatively fuel-efficient vehicles into mangled metal messes. Following in daddy’s footsteps, Ryan Anderson will crush cars in his tricked-out, 1950s Willys panel truck, Son uva Digger. At just 22 years old, he’s one of the youngest professional drivers on the circuit and was named rookie of the year in 2010. In total, 15 trucks will leave a giant carbon footprint, revving late into the night and up into the atmosphere. Are lift kits, 1,500-horsepower engines, and tremendous tires to blame for global warning? Maybe, but don’t let these drivers hear you say that, or they’ll roll right over your ass.
Sat., Feb. 11, 7 p.m., 2012