After the divorce, Victoria reconnected with her former fiancé from Miami, Paul Wessel — who had become a badass Miami-Dade Police SWAT officer. In 1984, according to Paul's personnel file, the tip of his pinkie was shot by his own partner in a firefight with a drug suspect. In 1991, with a single round he killed an Opa-locka man who pointed a revolver at officers. At an inquest, the man's widow beseeched, "Why did they have to shoot him in the heart?" Paul's lethal actions were ruled justified. One year later, he used a shotgun to obliterate a pit bull that was attacking his partner. To date, Paul has been honored with 71 department commendations.

But Paul had a competitor. This potential couple would have been the insane D-list Brangelina. "I kind of had a crush on Weird Al Yankovic," Victoria confesses. "We kind of went on a date, but I don't know if he loved me or not."

In Victoria's brain, "there was this fork in the road." Down one path: Paul Wessel and Jesus, with their matching abs, and life as a poor, pious housewife in Miami. Down the other: Weird Al, SNL, and loads of sinful showbiz cash.

Victoria Jackson at a gig hosting a Christmas show on a Florida beach.
Giulio Sciorio
Victoria Jackson at a gig hosting a Christmas show on a Florida beach.
Half Nelson, her sitcom pilot with Joe Pesci, lasted six glorious episodes.
Courtesy of Victoria Jackson
Half Nelson, her sitcom pilot with Joe Pesci, lasted six glorious episodes.

After making up her mind, she got a tattoo of Paul's initials on her lower back. "Because he's the one that ruined my life," she explains without irony.

That's why she quit SNL in 1992, she insists. She headed back to "the swamp" — as she calls Miami — to marry Paul. Two years later, they had a daughter named Aubrey, and Victoria's movie career dried to a crust.

But there's one problem with her morality tale, in which she sacrificed riches and fame to make the perfect God-fearing family.

"No, no, no," agent Dolores Robinson clucks when relayed her former client's claim that she quit SNL. "They dropped her."

Outside a Miami Lakes Starbucks in the pouring rain, Victoria sits under an awning that provides only partial cover. Water soaks her bare legs and pools on her Mac laptop and cell phone. With her Flip cam balanced on a stack of conservative books — Marx & Satan, Socialism Shakedown, The Manchurian President — she recounts taking her youngest daughter, 17-year-old Aubrey, to a "gay party" held by Victoria's "newest gay friend, Seth." (Victoria claims to have three gay friends — Seth, Alex, and Glen — and she makes frequent mention of them.)

"After we left, I asked my daughter what she thought," Victoria says, her eyeglasses missing an earpiece and tilting down her nose. "She said, 'It felt like they were sad and ashamed.' Out of the mouth of babes!

"If you get killed because you're gay, the murderer gets extra time. It's hilarious! Alcoholism is a sin too, but you don't see an alcoholic pride parade. Alcoholics hide in little rooms in basements and they go, 'Hi, I'm Fred.'"

A pair of women huddling from the rain gape at her. Victoria sometimes wonders why she can't get a mainstream gig. Is it her weight? "It's OK to be a liberal and be fat," she complains. "You've got Oprah, Rosie, you've got Joy Behar, you've got Whoopi, you've got the other ones on The View. [Or] if you're black, you're allowed to be fat, and that's sassy, sexy. But if you're white, you're not really allowed to be fat."

Victoria often blames Democratic policies for her modest, Honda-driving life. Her family lives in a $200,000 townhouse with a concrete dock on a murky green pond. Her husband, now an MDPD helicopter pilot, makes $120,000 annually. But, she says, alimony to the fire-eater left them broke. Public records reveal that Nisan sued her in 1995, claiming she owed $89,000.

The cash shortage spawned a sad, short stand-up comedy career. In the early '00s, Victoria worked clubs around the country while the couple raised two daughters. She made about $4,000 a weekend, she says. Her material was mostly riffing on hating Miami. She did gigs with SNL alumni Lovitz and Kevin Nealon, as well as forgotten former cast member Joe Piscopo. That last pairing was called "the most depressing Saturday Night Live reunion ever" by the Onion's A.V. Club.

In 2004, she released a self-produced full-length documentary about the grief of being away from her family. It debuted at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. "Nobody watched it," she says. Much of it is close-up footage of her sobbing in hotel beds.

But then she discovered something life-changing: When she talked about Obama being a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, people watched — and cared. And job offers came.

In 2007, 15 years removed from SNL, she traveled back to Tinseltown for a last-ditch stab at becoming an "airhead on a sitcom." She explains, "I liked the idea of getting $100,000 a week for having five lines that someone else wrote, and I could do airhead better than anyone. That's my specialty! It would be effortless."

Victoria says she knew nothing about politics and rarely voted. But because "everybody in Hollywood is liberal and Jewish," the best way to network was through a cagey group of industry conservatives.

She refuses to name what she calls a "secret organization," but Victoria is clearly talking about Friends of Abe (FOA). Celebrities who have confessed to being among its 1,800-plus members include Pat Boone, Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammer, and Gary Sinise. Started in 2007 by "two guys in their trailer whispering that they respected Bush," Victoria says, it's something like a support group for conservatives who fear being blacklisted for their beliefs.

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56 comments
VollyfromtheBlog
VollyfromtheBlog

I just feel sorry for her. Most people who go off the ideological rails are damaged. It's rather obvious in her case. Name one person who sees her as a human being and not a joke. He husband, maybe. Everyone has a need to be taken seriously. Those who can truly joke about themselves have gained a sense of self-respect. She never did, and so she continues squeaking into the air. Very sad.

Chilidawg
Chilidawg

Her mother was psychotic, that explains a lot.

Petzl
Petzl

This woman is exemplary of the adage, A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. And in her case, it's very little knowledge.

Jugears McKenyan Jr
Jugears McKenyan Jr

This woman has more 'nads' then any GOP or DEM in congress to stand up to who she does without compunction. She knows as any conservative entertainer knows, step out of the liberal lockstep goosestepping out there and you might as well put a KKK hood on your head and forget working in that decadent dump called Hollywood ever again.

She's the female Dennis Miller and other SNL alums will follow suit when THEY too grow up as well someday, those that CAN at least.

Granted, I imagine It's hard to do (grow up) when you get paid millions to play make believe for a living while in a walking drug and alcohol induced coma for much of their adult lives and live in a east/west coast cocoon, where 'liberal think' is the only 'think', and flyover country is where their lear jets dump their wizz and excrement on the way to and from work, awards ceremonies, court dates and bi yearly rehab stints...

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Ray Butt
Ray Butt

Scariest thing I've read in a while.

Daniel
Daniel

'Later she says, "I feel like I'm the only person who has reason, common sense, and sanity."'

someone needs to point Ms. Jackson to the Wikipedia page for the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Halloween_Jack
Halloween_Jack

This both confirms every negative thing I've ever heard or thought about Jackson and makes me feel a little sorry for her. (Just a little, though.)

BurtAllen
BurtAllen

Sounds like another "REALITY" series is coming.

Barry Smith
Barry Smith

I didn't realize until I read this article that she truly IS as slow and ignorant as her stage persona. And now, scary.

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Darrell G. Ragland
Darrell G. Ragland

This article was very hard for me to read, not only the writing but the story. It's obvious this woman is showing the initicial signs of schizophrenia. It's only a matter of time before she goes completely off the deep end. Until then she is nothing more that a one woman circus side-show, a freak who doesn't realize she is a freak. Goodbye Victoria, you're lost in your own world.

Douglas J E Barnes
Douglas J E Barnes

I keep waiting for her to come out as having punked the Tea Party movement. If not, at least she's turned the name "Victoria Jackson" into a punchline.

ttt207
ttt207

and if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of air swirling between her ears.

TheColoredHand
TheColoredHand

Could this article BE any nastier, left-winged, vicious, and WRONG? Shes smart, politically astute, and STILL hot! Ever see most of these lib chicks when they hit 50? Forget 50-try 30! THIS is why we need a Tea Party, and why VJ should be the MAJORITY in Follyweird!

M
M

I don't care about this poor lady with her mental illness.However, the scary part is that people in power or trying to achieve power think like her.That should scare the hell out of everyone.

Donald
Donald

excuse me? those interviews are great! my wifes' mom makes $63/hr on the internet. She has been out of work for 5 months but last month her paycheck was $5177 just working on the internet for a few hours. Read more about it www.MakeCash29.com

Rough Tongue
Rough Tongue

What was that actress that got all the interviews when John Ritter died? This seems more like pay attention too me then an actual "Tea Party Representative" Yeah, mental disorder too the max......

timmmahhhh
timmmahhhh

If you want to keep up with stories about the crazy lady, Facebook has a page called "Victoria Jackson is batsh** crazy."

Drake Mallard
Drake Mallard

Ruin the party? These people aren't worried about us. They're not worried about anything. They're rich. No matter what happens, these people just keep applauding.

The Billionaires Bankrolling the Tea Party

Only the fat cats change — not their methods and not their pet bugaboos(taxes, corporate regulation, organized labor, and government “handouts” to the poor, unemployed, ill and elderly). Even the sources of their fortunes remain fairly constant.

Rural_Texas
Rural_Texas

I don't know where to begin...this woman is just totally fruit loops. And Fox gives her an audience.

dutchs
dutchs

No, alcoholics don't have drunk pride parades. They have bars. And football and NASCAR events where alcohol is part of the experience. And Wall Street doesn't have greed pride parades - they just totally deny there's anything wrong with what they're doing. Liars don't hold lie marathons - they just pay lobbyists to deny climate change, and build creationist theme parks.

ixijimixi
ixijimixi

*Marlene's much-adored sister, Angeline Rose, had developed schizophrenia as a teenager and died in a state hospital.*

If she were born today, she'd be writing for Breitbart

Nadgie T
Nadgie T

I oNly read the first page and when the dads comment " my son is 300 pounds"" appeared, I knew I had to stop reading. I used to be a fan now I won't even finish the story. It's sad when an actor goes downhill. They will do anything for attention. Even make believe they are crazy.

Pedantic Douchebag
Pedantic Douchebag

Phil Hartman is dead, and she gets to live? Yeah, THANKS, universe.

Jf
Jf

Poor dear Victoria. She has not a clue! I think she is desperate and is being used, but she doesn't know it, so I guess it's OK. She had a career, she crazied it away and now she has nothing left but crazy!

kawb1011
kawb1011

Wow...her dad's a real piece of work, isn't he? I think she's a loon, but I can kind of understand why, growing up under the influence of such a hyper-critical ass.

Ha!
Ha!

Victoria Jackson is a dumb tea-party cunt. Fuck her.

Guest
Guest

The face of mental illness.

claudia
claudia

"Victoria says she knew nothing about politics and rarely voted."

"I liked the idea of getting $100,000 a week for having five lines that someone else wrote, and I could do airhead better than anyone. That's my specialty! It would be effortless."

This just proves she's been trolling this whole time. I've also wasted 5 min of my life reading this crap. Victoria Jackson is not interesting and is officially a moron.

runarounsue
runarounsue

Nice article, her dad sounds funny, actually makes me like her even though I dont agree with her views on politics

Madge
Madge

I think it's interesting to have a broader look at her life, especially to see how and why her crazy has developed. And her parents live near me. I had no clue!

Roberto Jose Burnett
Roberto Jose Burnett

Why would you validate this "person" with any sort of media attention or story? Of course I could kick myself because I was once a fan - but her sudden turn to the right is both saddening and disgusting.

let's dance
let's dance

After reading this I want to cry for her. While reading the bible go to the book of Melachi 1:2, then go to3 John 1. Then go visit ms. rootoff and get what ever has a hold on you off.

azlefty
azlefty

Poor little Nicky, all of your has been heroes are just that has beens who are milking you and your ilk for every penny they can get. At least Ice T was honest when he put out Cop Killer and said he was "pimipng" everyone for the money

As for Conservatives in Hollywood, funny how the talent is still there!Trace Adkins: Wilfred BrimleyJerry BruckheimerJames CaanDrew CareyAdam Carolla -he will be on the TEA Party circus before long though due to his lack of talent Tom ClancyJon CryerClint EastwoodMel GibsonKelsey GrammerTom SelleckFred Thompsonand the list goes on!

Janet C
Janet C

I bet you don't have to listen very carefully to hear the swirling between your ears.

M
M

8/10, nice troll.You would have got a higher score if you used "libtard" and "socialist".

timmmahhhh
timmmahhhh

Her dad is part of the problem, perpetuating the sad societal demand that you are supposed to hate yourself if you're fat. I suppose that is considered conservative humor. Speaking of, isn't it ironic now that the two SNLers who made it big on FOX are her and Dennis Miller?

Kevlarcardhouse
Kevlarcardhouse

Seeing as how she is still being taken seriously as a political pundit, I would say the point of this media story is to invalidate her.

ttt207
ttt207

O2 sat's a little elevated between your ears judging by the depth and originality of your response.

 
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