Miami-Dade Commissioner Bruno Barreiro has a bad attendance record

If we showed up late or not at all for one of every three workdays, we'd be writing for the Winn-Dixie circular by next week. But Bruno Barreiro — one of the 13 Miami-Dade commissioners charged with keeping this rickety skiff of a county afloat — has somehow held office for 13 years despite spending much of that time doing his best impression of Jimmy Hoffa.

Barreiro had the commission's worst attendance record in 2011. Out of 76 county meetings, he missed nine with unexcused absences, two with excused absences, and was late a whopping 16 times. We tried to reach him for an explanation but — surprise! — Barreiro was not in his office, and also did not answer his home phone. He did not respond to our messages.

The bland commissioner, who exudes about as much leadership as a shred of Quiznos lettuce, has been down this road before. In 2010, his admirable 11 unexcused absences put him behind only Sally Heyman on the hooky-playing leaderboard. (At least Heyman claimed foot surgery as an excuse.)

In fact, Barreiro has the worst attendance record of any commissioner during his entire span in office, with 118 absences — only five of them excused — and 82 instances of showing up late. Yep, he has stiffed the taxpayer exactly 200 times since 1998. At least there's a feng shui air to his delinquency.

Before you mention the $6,000-per-year nominal salary (plus benefits) that county commissioners receive, keep in mind that virtually all of them use their posts to rake in income through other means. During his time as two-thirds-of-a-commissioner, Barreiro saw his net worth triple to $1.4 million in 2007 — before it dropped to just under $500,000 at his latest disclosure.

Even poor ol' limping Sally Heyman at least had the decency to get permission slips. She had ten absences in 2011, but all of them were excused.