Miami's top news stories of 2011

Dude, where's my city? Miami wakes up with a pounding headache.

This month, the two departments attempted to bury the hatchet by playing a softball game — which seems sweet until you remember these aren't warring summer camps but the armed professionals who guard our streets.

Oh, and did we mention that Solange KnowlesBeyoncé's sister— claimed Miami Beach police pulled a switchblade on her when she was trying to enter a nightclub in a banana suit?

Yep, 2011 was that kind of party, the kind where you either spend the next day vomiting into the wastebasket or you mix yourself a Gorbachev-strength bloody mary and hit the sauce even harder. Which do you think Miami will go for?

But at least things are looking up for Chris Bosh. As our Hedwig-loving adventurer lies on the beach, the wind blows a discarded newspaper onto his face. The headline: "NBA Lockout Ends."

After removing it, he spots what looks like two extremely tall figures sprinting down the beach. Could it be? Yes! It's Wayne and LeJohn, running to meet him.

Grinning, he spreads his arms for a big hug. But as his long-lost teammates reach him, LeJohn stiff-arms Chris Bosh, who flops back onto the sand.

The two superstars keep running. That's when our protagonist sees the camera crew following his teammates. The realization hits him like a brick of cocaine thrown from a twin-engine Cessna: They're filming a Gatorade commercial. Without me.

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7 comments
Guest
Guest

Be careful!!!STD cases on the rise!A friend of mine who works for the largest STD dating == datingpoz...C óM == told me that the new subscribers have increased

30% over 2008. Rising STD rate sparks online dating sites.

Polly  King
Polly King

The number of members on the largest dating&support site stdster. c/om(if I spell the site correctly) has reached 500,000 membersOMG! Why so many guys and girls on the site are very sexy? Why so many people are infected by Std? There is no doubt that we need SEX-ED

Jessica
Jessica

I am a 26 years old girl, down to earth and cute but still single ... I wanna find my lover who can give me a real love,so I joined in the seekcasual.COM,it's the best club for man and woman finding their intimate encounters. Well, you do not have to be lonely , you can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.

Strong_Girls__28
Strong_Girls__28

Тhis is сrаzу...Мy friеnd`s sistеr mакеs 78/hr оn thе intеrnеt. Shе hаs bееn unеmрlоуеd fоr 11 mоnths but lаst mоnth hеr incоmе wаs 7985$ јust wоrкing оn thе РС fоr а fеw hоurs. Read about it here ....... C a s h M a n y . c о m

Strong_Girls__28
Strong_Girls__28

This is crazy....my best friend's mom makes $88 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 10 months but last month her check was $5483 just working on the computer for a few hours...Read about it here.... WantJob.com .....

Ray_cuban
Ray_cuban

You sir suck at writing. Garbage

 
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