Kim Kardashian's next husband: Justin Bieber?

Luther "Luke" Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some relationship advice for Kim Kardashian.

It shouldn't surprise anyone interested in celebrity culture that Kim Kardashian is making a mockery of marriage. She's just following the Hollywood playbook used by other star divas, from Liz Taylor to Madonna to Jennifer Lopez. All of them think marriage is a joke.

They are the reason the divorce rate is out of control in this country. You get married, split up, and move onto the next hot celebrity on your "I do" list. Kardashian is on hubby number two. She accused the first, record producer Damon Thomas, of beating her and keeping her from her family after he filed to divorce her in 2003. Last year, in an interview with a gossip magazine, Thomas claimed his ex "is obsessed with fame" and "would step on anyone in order to get where she wanted."

Now she is allegedly talking things out with estranged husband Kris Humphries. It is two weeks after she filed for divorce, which came only 72 days after she was paid millions to put on a wedding spectacle. Every day, there's a new episode of As the Kardashian Turns. And gossip mongers like TMZ, Us Weekly, and Access Hollywood gobble it up. I wouldn't be shocked if she reconciles with Humphries so she can get pregnant and then sell the first photos of their baby to the highest bidder.

But if things don't work out for Kim and Kris, here are a few single male stars who would certainly help her stay in the spotlight:

Justin Bieber: The teen crooner will be of legal age by March. Kim can solidify herself as the youngest cougar in Hollywood.

Marc Anthony: Sure, Kim would get J.Lo's sloppy seconds, but he is still part owner of the Miami Dolphins and the hottest Latin male singer on the market.

Tiger Woods: Kim has already made a sex tape, and he likes porn stars. Talk about a love connection.

Silvio Berlusconi: If there is anyone who knows how to survive a crisis, it's the former Italian prime minister. Kim could certainly use some crisis management guidance and a man who truly appreciates women.

 
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11 comments
Pukesgospelisalie
Pukesgospelisalie

What the fuck are you rambling about now Puke? Kardashian,Taylor and Madonna are the reason divorce rates are so high? Are you stupid or just stupid? You forgot to mention the race card!!!

Mary
Mary

Justin is too good for her and I say that not liking the boy.

Erica
Erica

It shouldn't surprise anyone interested in celebrity culture that Kim Kardashian is making a mockery of marriage. ...@readers:disqus my co-worker's half-sister makes $72/hr on the laptop. She has been laid off for 6 months but last month her paycheck was $8741 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Read this site CashHuge. com

Erica
Erica

It shouldn't surprise anyone interested in celebrity culture that Kim Kardashian is making a mockery of marriage. ...@readers:disqus my co-worker's half-sister makes $72/hr on the laptop. She has been laid off for 6 months but last month her paycheck was $8741 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Read this site CashHuge.com

Manuel Garcia
Manuel Garcia

Actually drake is as fake as they come. He is signed to probably the most fake label of all time. Everyone on that label (minus Buster Rhymes) is fake!

Reagan Young
Reagan Young

Drake is not fake he raps differently than most rappers alive

kas12345
kas12345

Drake is not the most fake rapper alive; he's more real than most rappers who just talk about gangs, sex, and drugs, while if you listen Drake talks about real things in his life and tells a story that everyone can relate to.

Cypress
Cypress

Lucke ur a DUCHE BAG

Zoominallday
Zoominallday

Yea,well in the majority of his songs, drake just talks about money and bitchess..songs used t have meaning... N sorry to tell you but not everyone in the world can relate to money, the majority of the people in this world come from poverty....

Trav
Trav

Its spelled douche dumb ass.

 
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