Herman Cain: Our next vice president

Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the African-American frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination.

C. Stiles

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More About

• Herman Cain
• Barack Obama
• Donald Trump
• Racial Issues
• World Politics

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Herman Cain's emergence as the GOP candidate who could take on Barack Obama in 2012 lets people know a conservative African-American can succeed on the national stage. You have the hip-hop generation standing behind Obama, and Cain is the man for those who believe they are members of high society and get along just dandy with the 1 percent of white Americans who control the country's wealth.

Have a conversation with a bourgie, and he or she will trash lower- and middle-class African-Americans the same way a Ku Klux Klan member would. They are usually the only black person among white conservatives in group photos. Cain sees himself as an elitist, so he can relate to the white right-wingers, and they can relate to him.

But conservatives who constantly rail against gay marriage and abortion always have shit in their closet that is totally the opposite of the values they preach. Cain is no different. He made the crazy claim that the founder of Planned Parenthood wanted to prevent "black babies from being born" and that the organization built 75 percent of its clinics in black communities — two statements that have been widely dismissed as false. When he was recently on Meet the Press, Cain also said he would seek a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages.

For the past two weeks, Cain has had to answer questions about allegedly sexually harassing three National Restaurant Association female employees who worked for him when he headed the organization 12 years ago. The women accused him of conversations "filled with innuendo or personal questions of a sexually suggestive nature." The New York Times reported that both accusers received cash payments — one got $35,000 — after signing nondisclosure agreements. Maybe Cain asked the ladies if they enjoyed being "face down, ass up."

Cain says stories about the scandal are racially motivated. Right-wing loudmouths such as Ann Coulter and Donald Trump are also playing the race card on Cain's behalf. Questioning the legitimacy of Obama's citizenship is pretty damn racist too, but that didn't stop Coulter and Trump from doing it. Their hypocrisy knows no bounds.

This black man is in the race to do one thing: siphon independent voters away from Obama. Don't be surprised to see Cain offered VP if he fails to get the presidential nomination.