By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Abel Folgar
By Kat Bein
By Jacob Katel
By Karli Evans
By Jose D. Duran
By Pablo Chacon Alvarez
Taylor Swift has been banging out big hits since she was just sweet 16.
It all began with 2006's "Tim McGraw," a love song, not for superstar singer Tim McGraw, but her high school sweetheart. And ever since, the 21-year-old country-pop princess has played the role of Little Miss Kiss-and-Tell, penning songs about her romantic relationships with young studs such as Taylor Lautner and grown-ass men such as John Mayer.
Her latest album, the immensely popular Speak Now, reads like a diary. And who is so incurious that they wouldn't want to read the most private journal of a star? Websites devote endless pages to speculation about the manly subjects of Taylor's each and every confession. In the liner notes of Speak Now, Swift even eggs it on, offering a key to each song's inspiration by blatantly tucking hints into the lyrics.
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So after this last album, dating Taylor Swift seems like a risky career move. Luckily for her, she's gorgeous, and for her exes, all press is good press. It makes her kissing-and-telling a little less offensive.
Joe Jonas. These two did a whole lot of postbreakup shit-talking, and their relationship eventually devolved into a bitter feud. It's been speculated that Swift dissed the crap out of Jonas and his next girlfriend, actress Camilla Belle, in "Better Than Revenge," with meow-catty lyrics like "She's an actress/She's better known for the things she does on the mattress." The liner-note key: "You thought I would forget." Creepy.
But no worries for Jonas — he wrote his own dis track, "Much Better," referencing Swift's "Teardrops on My Guitar": "I get a rep for breakin' hearts/Now I'm done with superstars/And all the tears on her guitar/I'm not bitter/But now I see/Everything I'd ever need/Is the girl in front of me/She's much better." Triple snap and talk to the hand, Miss Kiss-and-Tell.
Taylor Lautner. It's definitely strange when a couple shares the same name. Maybe that's why this dalliance didn't last long. Also, they kind of look alike. Anyway, the two Tays dated for about three months, and word on the Interweb was that Swift just wasn't that into the Twilight series' werewolf hottie. The regretful romantic tune "Back to December" is dedicated to Lautner. Poor puppy!
John Mayer. How old is John Mayer? 34. He was 32 when rumors circulated that he boned 19-year-old Swift. The pair collaborated on "Half of My Heart" and later were seen canoodling. It was reported she even slept over at Johnny Boy's hotel. He sounds like a real keeper in her song "Dear John." Swift sings, "Don't you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home." The liner-note key: "Loved you from the very first day."
Man, Mayer sounds like a total pig here. But Lautner seems pathetic, and Jonas comes off like a bitch. More important, though, Swift acts like an emotional bully.
Yes, it's empowering in a way. Girls rarely get much respect when complaining about exes. And this girl has legions behind her, defending her. The ability and resources to expose mean, whiny, bratty men is a cool gift, certainly. But it's also unfair to her past loves.
Swift might be an open book, but she's also sort of a romantic tattletale.