Sometime during the past century, however, we Miamians went wrong. Maybe it was the coke or boob implants. Or perhaps we're cursed for unleashing Vanilla Ice onto the world.
Who knows? But there can be no argument about the punishment. The Magic City has been hit by bizarre waves of wildlife infestations — from insidious insects to ravenous reptiles. The latest affliction is a hairy horde of "Caribbean crazy ants." Like the locusts that stripped Pharaoh's Egypt bare, these tiny, turbocharged bugs will eat anything, including plants and animals. By our calculation, we're 90 percent of the way through the Bible's ten plagues. Expect more divine retribution soon.
1. The first plague was water. Way back when, Moses raised his staff over the Nile and turned the water to blood. More recently, BP tapped the ocean floor like a beer keg and five million barrels of oil poured into the sea.