There's only one acceptable reason for bruises on your wife, daughter, or aunt, and that's roller derby. These indigo battle scars are unavoidable in the sport that sends ladies flying around a rink and slamming full speed into each other and occasionally into the rink wall. So a few times a week, Mom becomes Ruff Tuff TuTu. But it's more than just cute outfits and punning names. Derby is a bona fide sport that requires mouth guards, helmets, and plenty of strategy. South Florida team Gold Coast Derby Grrls has that last part down. A team since 2007, they recently qualified for the Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) and are ranked ninth in the South Central region. This Friday, they match up against the Gainesville Roller Rebels. And if you think the Hurricanes and Gators football rivalry was exciting, wait till you see the fierceness from players with names like Duchess of Torch-Her, Iggy Cocks, and Zombitch. For the first time, the Derby Grrls will wheel out their bruising skills at the BankUnited Center, which seats a whopping 5,000 raucous derby fans. And if all the bashing and racing get your adrenaline pumping, head to the open house of a new 305 derby team, the Vice City Rollers, this Sunday at Suniland Hockey Rink (9300 Coral Reef Dr., Miami). They'll be recruiting skaters and referees from 5:45 to 8 p.m.
Fri., Sept. 16, 8 p.m., 2011