Thanks for reciting the entire play so I no longer have to actually see the play. Next time, save some effort and just scan the entire script in. After all, there have only been several thousand productions and a movie of this script, glad you relentlessly recited the damned thing.
Will the New Times ever hire a theatre reviewer to replace Brandon? Or even someone who knows how to write?
Hate to break it to you, cljahn, but I don't own any sock puppets.
Nor do I come here and comment under a fake name.
Why, that would be like commenting under a name with only initials!
Maybe Jeff actually just disagrees with you? GASP!!
Anyway, thanks for stopping by!
Tell us how you really feel. I actually thought it was a great write-up... only making me want more. This is a story that is so good, it could actually happen to any one of us.
My question is: when is New Times going to categorize the schmuck section for ridiculous replies?
Look, everybody - Chris has his very own sock-puppet!
And don't' worry, Chris - I mean, "Jeff" - when they set up a section for ridiculous comments, I'm sure they'll move your comments into it first thing.
Congrats on the compliments on your blog. That's fantastic! Just so you know, I don't get compliments because I give positive reviews. They've been called "insightful."
I've also won some awards for my writing.
But this isn't a job interview and I'm not going to list my resume and accomplishments to someone who hides behind a blog and their initials in the comment section of a web site.
For whatever reason you have this bug up your ass for me, and it is what it is.
I hate Bill Simmons. Know what I do about it? I don't read his shit.
Look, I'm not going to get into a pissing contest with you here. It's writing. And like theatre and art, it's subjective. It's either up your alley, or it isn't. The voice either speaks to you, or it doesn't. Some people might love your blog, other people probably think they've read better stuff on a box of douche.
Criticize or "pound away" all you want. At least be accurate. Don't say all I do is recite the plot and never talk about what works and what doesn't. That's out and out bullshit.
If you're gonna be a dick, at least be honest. That's all I ask.
I'm certainly not going to have my writing be influenced by your blog or this personal, arrogant, weird vendetta you have against me.... I just find it odd that you spend so much time and energy tearing someone who alludes your taste down. And if I do someday move on from this position to write something or go somewhere else, it certainly won't be your doing.
You may think you're the theatre review police. But you're not. You're just a dude with a fucking blog. You're a thumbprint on a window of a skyscraper.
Whatever helps you get through the night, friend.
Many years ago, The Palm Beach Post hired Jack Vitek, a well-regarded sports writer, to review theatre. His first few attempts read like yours; awful dreck that told us little about the actual production he was seeing. But Jack made the effort to find out what a proper review should have, and eventually became a reasonably decent reviewer.
As for your claims that "some pretty important people dig" what you're doing, I can only reply "me, too." There's not a week that goes by where an actor, director, or producer doesn't compliment The Scene. And the thing they like best is that I'm taking hack writers to task for their dreadful writing. Sure, they like it when you say something positive about their show; but so often that positive thought is so vague that we don't know if it's the script, the actors, or the overall production that you're commenting on. And since theatres use those reviews for fundraising, that matters a lot. So yes, I'm sure they like it when you say positive things about their productions, but they'd like your reviews even better if they did less reciting of the plot and more analysis of why things worked - or didn't.
A younger demo does not require crappy writing. Some of the best reviews I've read in the last couple of years came from high school students. And in the past, NT has had some truly great writers. You're not one of them. Perhaps you could be. But not while you defend your mediocrity by whining about the demographic you claim to serve.
Now, I will concede that NT is also home to some incredibly incompetent editors, too, so it's entirely possible that somewhere you have a stack of reviews that actually say something useful about the productions, and what we're seeing is the dreck that should have been tossed instead of the meat and potatoes that your reviews currently lack.
So I will continue pounding away on you, until you start writing passable reviews or you get replaced. Frankly, I don't care which way it happens. But the only way you're going to shut me up is to producer better reviews. And just because I am in fact a true Stage Dude, I will start dissecting your reviews over on my blog, so you will understand where you went wrong, and how to improve your writing.
Because the Dude abides, but he doesn't abide crappy writing.
Look cljahn, there's nothing in the rule book that says a sports guy can't be into theatre too. Because, hey, I like em both.
And as far as not coming close to providing what you think I should... I've received emails and calls from directors and others in the industry that like what I've done so far in my six months of trying this. So some pretty important people dig what I'm doing here.
If you don't like me, hey, that's cool. The "Stage Dude" thing is just us trying to provide a different voice than the usual mainstream stage reviews you get from the Herald, and the Sentinel, and the PBP, etc.... It's not for everyone. But our site/paper has a younger demo and if the SoFla theatre scene wants to get people other than the "blue haired" crowd to see their shows, then your typical reviewer is not going to get it done. Not at New Times, anyway.
Dolen is a fantastic reviewer. The best, IMO. Go read her if it'll make you calm down. Don't like me? Don't read me. But all this time and energy spent on me on your blog and on every single thing I post here at NT lately is meaningless and, frankly, a little creepy.
When a poser like Chris Joseph fouls the waters, it irritates the real deal. If sports is his thing, he should stick to that so the New Times can hire someone whose primary interest is theatre. We deserve to have well-written and insightful reviews of theatre, and Chris doesn't come close to providing that."Stage dude?" It's an insult to those of us who work in theatre.
