By Jacob Katel
By Laurie Charles
By Nate "Igor" Smith
By Abel Folgar
By Kat Bein
By Jacob Katel
During Memorial Day weekend in Miami, even if it doesn't rain, there will be a perfect storm of liquor, music, and dancing from South Beach to downtown, up I-95 to King of Diamonds — not to mention every strip club in between.
From all-day festivals at Bicentennial Park to booze breakfasts at Nocturnal and Washington's finest at SoBe Live and Dream, every name in hip-hop, dancehall, and R&B will hit the 305's streets during Urban Beach Week. The most popular rappers in the universe will host and perform at all of our best clubs, and South Florida's strippers will make enough skrilla in three days to buy themselves a foreclosed home on the Beach.
Here are the four best parties for the biggest urban weekend in the best city in the world.
Jeezy. Friday, May 27, 10 p.m., Dream, 1532 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4444; dreammia.com. Tickets cost $30 via wantickets.com. The realest realist in the rap game will deal more crack this Friday than in a year on the block. But we're not talking pots-and-pans crack. We're talkin' ass crack, and more females showing out than a porno. DJ Armageddon will keep those booties shaking while the General incites total bottle-popping madness. And then once the whole crowd is loose, every square inch of the club is packed, and the bass has every half-naked body soaked to the bone, Jeezy is gonna say, "Thaaasss right," and leave all of South Beach beamed up till it's time for breakfast.
Lil Wayne and Drake. Friday, May 27, 10 p.m., King of Diamonds, 17800 NE Fifth Ave., Miami; 305-999-9500; kodmiami.com. Tickets cost $50 for general admission or $100 for VIP via wantickets.com. When the second-biggest strip club in the world throws a party on the biggest urban weekend in the nation and two of the biggest names in popular rap music are headlining, you know it's going to be a motherfucking movie. Wayne and Drake might be at King of Diamonds every Monday, but most of the tourists who hear them rap about it have never experienced a night at the club with the most valuable strippers in Miami.
Wale. Friday, May 27, 11 p.m., Nocturnal, 50 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-576-6996; nocturnalmiami.com. Tickets cost $25 general admission or $40 VIP via wantickets.com. Wale has been building his name in the music industry for more than a decade, perfecting his craft, and holding out for the big money. You might not have heard of him a few years ago. But since signing a deal with Rick Ross's Maybach Music Group, the D.C. stunna has become an unavoidable force in the world of urban entertainment. The self-made kingpin with the rapid-fire flow, hyperkinetic lyrical ability, and popular appeal smashes through downtown at one of the wildest clubs in the city. And because he's been touring arenas for months with Ross and Wayne, expect a performer at the top of his game.
Keri Hilson. Saturday, May 28, 10 p.m., SoBe Live, 1203 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-2820; sobelivesouthbeach.com. Tickets cost $30 general admission and up to $1,500 for a 12-person VIP table via wantickets.com. We know her name's Keri and she's fine, and she's got a beautiful derriere. But we just won't be fully satisfied till we find out if she really tastes sweeter than a Swisher. Hey, we don't hate her for being beautiful. As a matter of fact, that "Pretty Girl Rock" song is fire, and we're looking forward to catching up with Keri poolside on South Beach. This lady, riding high on the crest of her hit single, brings a great female-driven dynamic to the weekend. Not to mention SoBe Live will give the girls free admission and drinks till midnight, so the club's gonna be packed supertight like Keri in some leather pants.