Julio Robaina's slush fund can buy lap dances and stone crab claws

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez — has a few things to say about his opponent Julio Robaina's lavish expense account.

Julio Robaina will say just about anything to get elected county mayor. First, Hialeah's main man claims he was against the Marlins Stadium deal, but video footage of him at the county commission meeting where the boondoggle was approved shows otherwise. He's a big, fat liar. Julio has also been making the rounds at the local black churches telling folks he's gonna get rid of the county commission's discretionary funds. There is no oversight, he says.

Well, it turns out Julio has his own taxpayer-funded slush bucket. On top of his $155,000 salary, the Hialeah mayor has two expense accounts totaling $116,000 for which he doesn't have to submit receipts. That money is included in his biweekly paycheck, no questions asked. He doesn't have to tell voters how he spends it. Now what does Julio do with $116,000? That breaks down to $2,242 a week before taxes. Well, in the interest of transparency, here's what I think Robaina is buying with that cash:

• A king deluxe suite at $315 per night for a week at the Viceroy Hotel inside Icon Brickell. Sometimes Julio just needs a getaway from being Hialeah's overlord.

• A dinner platter of Joe's stone crab claws for 30 people. You can't expect the mayor to settle for croquetas and pastelitos for his social gatherings.

• A Rolls Royce Phantom leased for a day at $1,595, with money left over to take the missus to Joe's. Plus it lets Robaina cut back on the miles on his own Bentley.

• A trip to PT's, the only gentlemen's club in Hialeah, where he can buy 89 lap dances ($25 each) or about seven and half hours of grind action, which should help Robaina stimulate his city's economy.

• About two or three African-American campaign consultants to help him buy votes in the black community.

 
My Voice Nation Help
24 comments
Melato13
Melato13

The funny thing here is that Mr. Luke is the Pot calling the Kettle Black. ( No offense to the Black Pots and Kettles out there)

Iuzzolth
Iuzzolth

Robaina, Gimenez, Llorente, and Cancio can all put their money where their mouth is, after that they should all take a trip back to hell, then send me a letter to tell me how great it is to be home. This link is their monetary budgets,take a look and make a decision Miami. Voterfocus.com

Ttsturrup
Ttsturrup

uncle luke.i'am a carol city high grad of 2000.listen to your music in the scotts projects,coleman projects,when i stay with my maternal grandmother hang with my older cousins.

SFMan
SFMan

Kebmo86, it’s called satire. What you should be asking is why Robaina has a 116K expense account. Does the Mayor really deserve that kind of unaccounted money, while people are bleeding money from their pockets?

HaliN
HaliN

Did no one else realize this was a joke (at least the list part)?

Seminole
Seminole

Luke, Really?? I just wasted 3 minutes of life (reading this article) I will never get back.

Carloslcruz56
Carloslcruz56

Uncle Poop, brother you have really lost it this time. You, of 2 live fame and heaven knows what else ranting about slush funds. You're just envious that its not you getting the lap dances. All or most all politicians are deep down inside crooks. you would just be another brick in the wall. Go back to sleep uncle Poop.

BIGROB305
BIGROB305

Hialeah the City of no progress and corruption Raul Martinez? One crooked in and one crooked out, and now we have Robaina.

Kebmo86
Kebmo86

That's awesome, but where's the evidence? Show me some proof. This is the kind of garbage that turns me off about politics. You print something on a paper where tons of people are going to read it, and you know everyone's too dumb to realize the magic word, "can", offers NO PROOF. Be a man, stop writing about what you THINK he's doing, and start writing about what YOU ARE going to do. The icing on this cake is the fact that you don't mention what you're going to do with the money if you get elected. Are you really going to eat at Denny's with $116,000 available to you. The guy is a mayor! What the hell do you expect from a politician?! Are you really that naive? Give your readers some credit, we're not as easy as you think.

George G diaz
George G diaz

Preach On Hermano, tell it like it is. have some back- up ready...

LukeIsOnCrack
LukeIsOnCrack

Maybe he has been using the Slush Fund to have Uncle Luke's Nails and Crotch Waxing Done so they can spend weekends together? Luke seem to have very intimate details? Maybe he is Julio's Lover? Luke, wake up, you dreaming, talk trash that has no truth and you sound like Al Sharpton, creating more lies to hide the truth.

Observateur123
Observateur123

Have you researched what Luther has done with his life in the past?Frankly what he imagines that Robaina is doing is of no interest to anyone.He cannot judge others by his own manipulative actions.It would be an embarrasement to the constituents of our county to have this sort of Mayor, this is not Reality TV, music CD or a joke!Wake up Miami Dade County!

grewupinHialeah
grewupinHialeah

Robaina and his band of merry men (a.k.a. city council) should donate ALL their "expenses" to the employees from Hialeah whose backs they are breaking while balancing the budget.

mimi
mimi

Sorry Me so HORNY!!!

mimi
mimi

Im so horny!!!!!!!

mimi
mimi

Well I happen to think Robaina is a good guy ,, I live in Hialeah and I tell you he has done alot for my city,all of you are just saying what youre saying because Luke is saying it you dont live in Hialerah so you should not speak about things you know nothing about and Luke stick to Music dude

mimi
mimi

Well I happen to think Robaina is a good guy my son works with him and besides have you been to Hialeah lately He has done alot for Hialeah I live in Hialeah so I know all of you are just going by what Luke says (Good source) HUH? dont speak about something you know nothing about fools!!!!!

Nigerianprince
Nigerianprince

LUKE FOR DAMN PRESIDENT.. MAYOR TO BUILD HIS BASE THEN THE WHITE HOUSE. HE IS REAL

Hater
Hater

Robaina the feds are coming to get you, you freaking crook!

Guest
Guest

AND, thats the beauty to be DADE COUNTY MAYOR.,,, NO WAY JOSE....! another crrok

Rausky79
Rausky79

Robaina is a crrok and anti-working class!! He's as bad as Alvarez and Seijas!!

Rausky79
Rausky79

Robaina is crook and is working class!! He's as bad as Alvarez and Seijas!

Mschunkyt
Mschunkyt

LOL....Luther Campbell for Mayor!

vb
vb

BETTER than ALWAAAAAREZ and NAT. SEIJAS

 
Miami Concert Tickets
Loading...