Current theater: schoolteacher nooky and animatronic sex dolls

A Round-Heeled Woman

By Jane Prowse. Through February 6 at GableStage at the Biltmore, 1200 Anastasia Ave., Coral Gables; 305-445-1119; gablestage.org. Tickets cost $37.50 to $47.50 .

A 66-year-old divorced schoolteacher who hasn't had sex in 30 years thinks it's about time she get some nooky. So she takes out an ad in the paper that states she wants to have a lot of sex with a man she likes. And just like that, a woman who hasn't been intimate with a man in decades suddenly finds herself drowning in countless proposals and boner pictures. But this is more than just a tale of a MILF looking for love. It's a touching story about an independent-minded woman endeavoring to regain her sexual mojo while wrestling with personal demons, and trying to capture the harmony and joy that has eluded her most of her life. The main character freely admits she's a walking cliché — a victim of sexual abuse and repressed angst who struggles with her weight and shortcomings as a mother. But her quest is endearing, and what she finds in the end surprises even her.


The Tales of Hoffman

By Jacques Offenbach. Through February 5 at Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-854-7890; arshtcenter.org. Tickets cost $179 to $304.

The Tales of Hoffman is a 19th-century three-act opera by German-born French composer Jacques Offenbach. As with most operas, the stirring tale involves forbidden love, ominous symbolism, and tragic, untimely death. But, unlike other operas, Tales also features enchanted mirrors, trippy magic goggles, and an animatronic sex doll. Now that's an opera! Based on short stories by German fantasy and horror author E.T.A. Hoffman, the French libretto written by Jules Barbier tells the story of the poet Hoffman and his drunken odyssey of love that requires him to choose between the Muse and her rival, Stella. Because the Muse is a supernatural broad, she uses all the cosmic power at her disposal (the spirit realm, disguises, spells) to win Hoffman's love. It's like The Bachelor, except more ass-kicky and awesome.


25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

By William Finn, Rachel Sheinkin, and Rebecca Feldman. Through February 13 at Actors' Playhouse at the Miracle Theater, 280 Miracle Mile, Coral Gables; 305-444-9293; actorsplayhouse.org. Tickets cost $39.

Tony Award-winning musical comedy The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee tells the story of six junior high kids (played by adult actors) who are locked in a spelling bee competition and dealing with the quirky torment of prepubescent life. The production revolves around the six competitors and three adult judges, and hilariously showcases life's everyday struggles through the prism of small-town America. The importance of friendships, the unnerving awkwardness of judging and being judged, the over-inflated importance placed on competition, and the overall agony of growing up are all themes that are comically explored.

 
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