In South Dade, entrails swing from tree limbs slimed with pancreatic juices that drip into puddles of bile. The Devil loves your sodden, rotten body's anguish at suburban living hell. This ghost season, visit Zoo Miami for Dr. Wilde's Creepy House, a 7,000-square-foot tribute to horrid abjection that opens this Saturday. From noon to 5 p.m., meet a flea-bitten, scab-oozing, cat-hoarding vieja; then drop by an only-in-Miami haunted Cuban coffee shop. It has a killer menu of severed human body parts and bloody, writhing tongues. Take the kids, but don't be surprised if they pee in their princess costumes. Little wimps can opt for a glowstick to keep them out of the monsters' paths; otherwise, undead, flesh-eating zookeepers will go for their throats. Elsewhere, encounter animatronic psychos; wade past a gross, overflowing toilet; and wander into a nasty roomful of roaches or mice. Tickets cost $5 plus the price of general admission ($16 for adults, $11.72 for kids ages 3 to 12), and the attraction is open through Halloween. Call 305-251-0400 or visit miamimetrozoo.com.
Mondays-Sundays, noon. Starts: Oct. 16. Continues through Oct. 31, 2010