It was a busy week for Taser-toting police officers in South Florida. First, Key West cops used their stun guns on a local luminary armed with a ninja sword and a baseball bat who was ranting about a dude who owed him $160. Then, our sister paper in Broward reported that Hollywood cops, cowering on the top of their squad car, unleashed electrical hell on a pit bull.
Both are bizarre cases, but we've seen weirder. These days, getting tased is the new getting touched by Michael Jackson — everyone's doing it. Even animals. Here's our unofficial compendium of creatures that have encountered the wrath of doughnut-eaters armed with 50,000 volts.
Pigs: Kind of ironic when you think about who's usually pulling the trigger. The Air Force tested Tasers on 11 pigs, resulting in some pretty disturbing video, because, hey, what else were we going to do with this big ol' pile of taxpayer cash?
All types of animals in Alaska: A wildlife technician stunned a moose mom that wouldn't let him near its trapped calves. Then, this past July, an off-duty Anchorage cop zapped a black bear after he discovered it chowing down from the salmon cooker in his back yard. Now park rangers are considering the Taser as an effective way to control wildlife — and maybe Sarah Palin.
A Phillies fan: By far the most vile creature on this list. Who can argue with the Philadelphia cop who tased a drunk dude who ran on the field earlier this year? ACLU, put that hand down.
An elk: Last year, a Linn County, Oregon sheriff's deputy used his stun gun on en elk for a full 25 seconds while a state trooper freed its antlers from a fence. The alternative was killing the animal, but the elk still bitched about it on Facebook.
Grandmas: Video of a Travis County, Texas traffic stop last year shows a constable tasing the hell out of a 72-year-old nana and then throwing her to the asphalt. And this past June, ten Oklahoma officers jolted a sickly 86-year-old woman after "she took an aggressive posture in her bed." No joke. As they stunned her, a grandson yelled, "Don't tase my granny!"