A black-eyed lady wearing leather and heels likes to keep her king snake on a choke chain. He's a beautiful, prizewinning specimen that's long, strong, and thick as a baseball bat. She lets him slither up her arm, coil around her throat, and flick his tongue in her ear. She feeds the snake a fat, white mouse. The rodent squirms as it's swallowed whole. This serpent is a special slitherer that just won best in show. And the lady loves him.
If dog shows are for high-minded devotees of wimpy bichon frises and silly Labradoodles, a snake show is one for all the pervs and freaks out there. This Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., unleash your legless beast for Snake Day at the Miami Science Museum (3280 S. Miami Ave., Miami). It's exactly zero parts prissy dog show, and ten parts circus of slippery, predatory delights. Two free passes are included for every snake entered in the competition.
Sun., Aug. 15, 10 a.m., 2010