Auto Eroticism

You are a gearhead, a car junkie, a donk devotee. On your bedside table sits a fat stack of auto porn — Hot Rod, Lowrider, Super Street, etc. — along with a half-used bottle of motor oil. Out in the garage, several modern-day muscle cars lie stripped and naked on the floor. In the back yard, a harem of pimped-out Harleys just waits — hot, primed, and ready to ride. And if it were legal, you’d immediately marry a classic black ’84 Cutlass Supreme with big rims, soft seats, and a fat bumper.

This Saturday from 4 to 11 p.m., follow your fellow automotive fetishists to Sun Life Stadium for the Remix Award Tour Car Show & Competition. There will be $10,000 in prizes, epic custom-car clashes, and a Rides Magazine street bike show — not to mention scratch and rap sets by DJ Khaled, Ace Hood, and DJ Rocky Rock. You’ll even see a bunch of oiled and tanned bikini babes struttin’ and stuntin’ in pursuit of the Miss Remix Miami crown. But who needs pretty girls when there are so many sick whips around?
Sat., July 31, 4 p.m., 2010

 
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