Family of Freaks

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• Al Pacino
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Once upon a time, heavy tattage was the exclusive brand of sea dogs, sideshow freaks, and antisocial slime. Today, though, everybody's been inked. Your sister's left boob is tagged "Property of Tito." Your brother's forearm bears a baby pirate with a kinky kris dagger in its wooden teeth. Even Mom decided, in the wake of her second divorce, the day had come for a lower-back tat, and she got the word cougar in cursive cat scratches surrounded by hatching butterflies to symbolize rebirth.

Naturally, then, you should take the whole family to the Hyatt Regency Miami for this weekend's Tattoolapalooza. You can all get matching Al Pacino-as-Scarface ink work. You can enter Mom's tramp stamp in the Best Back Piece tattoo contest. You can party with biker dudes, goth punk bands, and a couple of evil clowns named Professor Chumley and Ses Carny. Now cue the creepy carny music.
Fri., June 25, 4 p.m., 2010