"No prescription?" he asks.

"Nope."

"Do you have a pack on you?"

I hand a piece to him.

"Can I have this?"

"Sure," I say as Rosie accidentally stumbles into a stripper who gives her a fake smile and a shank eye.

Sergio's eyes open wide like he just got smacked with a flip-flop as his wife waddles our way. "Anything," he says, "would really, really help."

Sexlets, by the way, can be purchased at sexletsgum.com or at a number of Miami Beach Walgreens and Chicago-area 7-Elevens.

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