Buy a Boat, Meet a Mermaid

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At first, the South Florida Boat Show seems boring. But then you imagine cutting waves from the Caribbean to Key West in a cigarette boat loaded with a couple kilos of kush. You're trolling for swordfish and sharks at 100 mph. There's a drunk mermaid on the bow and a rapper pal waterskiing behind you, spitting rhymes and flashing signs. Suddenly, it's all so awesome that you start making motor noises and screaming, "I'm on a boat, bitch!" Revving up Friday at noon, this weekend's boat show at the Miami-Dade County Fair Expo Center probably won't be as wild and ridiculous as that nautically themed daydream. According to the official website, you should expect a bunch of middle-class “boaters, fishermen, and watersport enthusiasts” geeking out over expensive yachts and nonessential gadgetry. But who knows? You might meet a mythical creature or two.
Fri., June 11, noon, 2010