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Before South Beach got boring

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Up this week: He tackles VIP bottle service and a plan to roll back last call at city bars and nightclubs from 5 to 3 a.m.

In 1990, I got into the South Beach nightclub business when I leased a spot on Fifth Street at Lenox Avenue that everyone came to know as Luke's. Back then, it was one of only two black clubs on the Beach. You didn't have any black clubs on Ocean Drive, Collins Avenue, or Washington Avenue. A lot of people don't know it, but during segregation, you had to be out of the city by sundown on Miami Beach if you were black. When artists such as Nat King Cole performed there, they had to stay in Overtown. Today, you go into a nightclub — Mansion, SoBe Live, Cameo — on any given night and you will find a mixed crowd.

When I had Luke's, the Beach was much more fun. It was a lot wilder. Everybody came to my club. University of Miami football players were always in there. Former Miami Dolphins safety Louis Oliver met his wife at Luke's. Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson would come by when they were in town playing the Heat. Eddie Murphy was in there on the regular. Robert De Niro hooked up with one of my waitresses. And being that I was a single rapper-nightclub owner, there was a lot of office sex too.

We had some wild parties up in there. It was loose. Girls would get up on the bar and take off their clothes. I remember I filmed the "Pop That Coochie" video at Luke's. We had all these girls up onstage. I think Cisco, this cheap wine with 20 percent alcohol you buy at convenience stores and gas stations, had a lot to do with the zaniness. People use to call it liquid crack. When you drank that shit, you just lost your mind. I had to close Luke's two years after opening because I wouldn't pay off the liquor license gangsters — the state.

Now, people go into South Beach clubs pissed off. They have to pay outrageous valet parking prices. They have to stand in line and wait to get picked to go inside. They need three drinks just to get over the frustration of going through a cattle call. The emphasis is on buying bottles and hiring models to walk around like eye candy. That's why people from the mainland stay on the mainland. They don't want to go through the bullshit on South Beach.

Of course, they might be forced to settle for South Beach if Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff has his way. He's floating the idea of rolling back last call from 5 to 3 a.m. all over the city, just like he did in Coconut Grove. That is his district. If the people who elected him there want bars and clubs to close at 3 a.m., I have no problem with that. I respect him because he is not bashful about what he wants to do.

But a citywide 3 a.m. last call would be the death of Miami. Right now, they have no damn money. They need all the revenue they can generate.

By closing at 3 a.m., the city is going to drive people to Miami Beach or other places in Dade or Broward that stay open late. The clubs in Miami won't be able to afford to stay open.

 
  • 05/30/2010 12:52:00 AM

    South Beach was artsy and fun... then the "element" came and ruined it. You are the element rapper man

  • ron 04/24/2010 10:40:00 PM

    he is right. i have not been on south beach since the late 80's early 90's just not like when lukes was open. now all you get is a bunch of want to be ganster, as we know they soft as dirt...

  • SB Blows 04/24/2010 1:46:00 PM

    yeah you are so right Luke! SB is lame, it used to be cool 10+ years ago. Last time I went I was with my girl, we drove around for 2+ hours that night before we even found a dam parking spot, by that time I was too pissed to stand in line at some BS club so we took a walk on the beach but it was super lame. Then we ended up at some 24 hour cuban cafe, too add insult to a lame night the food wasn't even that good. All grease. I mean you would think a cuban cafe would have a decent cuban pressed sandwhich but no! Even the hoochies that were in there were drunk as hell looked all skanked out like they were wearing nightgowns walking around. I mean I liked what I saw but my girl did not and hell no I would not bring anyone there to check it out unless they were fans of whores and strippers and being drunk and a bunch of homos walking around everywhere - welcome to south florida.

  • lil chiko 04/20/2010 6:33:00 PM

    Luke you truly are the king of miami. You said something really true SB is wack man. That place is full of homos and wanna be gangsters. Club owners don't see the value of giving people a good time. They try to hustle you to buy $500 bottles of some bottom shelf shit. They got all these gold digging hoes up in there trying to get a drink out of you and they won't even talk to you. The club scene over there is dead. I remember when I could go to a club with $20 and get all the hoes. I know you know were i'm coming from luke. If you ran for mayor of miami beach you would certainly get my vote.

  • Carlo 03/25/2010 2:30:00 AM

    I Like clubs. I like beer and swimming.And Cheddar cheese

  • Eric 03/15/2010 10:55:00 AM

    South Beach is now ruled by douchebags/scumbags/metrosexuals who only care about the appearance of their clubs and not how the people enjoy themselves. I think it's all ran by a bunch of busters who try to make it seem like a $500 bottle of cheap shit is a legitmiate good time. Uh, no. I'd rather not spend $11 on a drink and mingle with a bunch of losers who think they're cool. South Beach is a joke...

  • EDster 03/13/2010 11:18:00 PM

    Luke You are right my man just because the mayor wants to sleep by 3a.m. Thats on him let others party until the sun comes up and some......POP that COUCHY

  • bunny 03/13/2010 9:11:00 PM

    Life is not just about food & drink, people should be home in bed by 3:am unless your working your up to no GOOD! it is God that gives you the power to get wealth not the "Clock"

  • ex miami 03/11/2010 11:15:00 PM

    yep SB is dead right now. it was vibrant edgy- alive... then came the srious money - big retail, big developers... now its walt disney world fees cynicism all around. come for the allure stay for con leave ripped off. miamis sb is done.

  • oliver 03/11/2010 3:43:00 AM

    South Beach was ok around 10 years ago. It was a happenning place. But with all the high price condominiums and homes it is bound for some stricter laws. People buying those expensive places will demand more order. So rolling back the last call truthfully does not surprise me. I am telling you that more rules are coming up. Trust me. I know. Say hello to downtown Fort Lauderdale or a little bit more south the keys.

  • David 03/10/2010 10:10:00 PM

    Luke, With all due respect, check your facts. Commissioner Sarnoff has no plans whatsoever to "roll back" the alcohol cut-off time to 3am city wide. First of all, to say he does is not true, secondly, it takes a majority of the Commission to pass something, not one person. There is an independent committe made up of business owners, residents, lawyers, and law enforcement looking at the alcohol cut-off times city wide to determine what's working and what's not. If the committee recommends that the entire city should be a 24-hour drinking district---then so be it. You write a good column, just wanted to point out the facts. Thanks. Thanks, David

  • Jim 03/10/2010 9:42:00 AM

    Closing at 3 AM, is that such a bad idea ? Miami was cool up to around 1997-1999, then all the assholes descended upon the place. I used to enjoy South Beach, now it's the last place I'd ever take a visitor. And the assholes keep finding a new way to ruin Miami to a new level, I-95 toll lanes. They're taking that game up to Broward now on I-595. Close the bars at 3 AM, maybe Donte Stallworth never is out all night and is in his bed sleeping like he should be ? How many others have ruined their own, not to mention other's lives because they couldn't exercise good judgment ?

  • David 03/10/2010 2:50:00 AM

    Good points my man...

  • club legend 03/09/2010 11:21:00 PM

    on march 11 or 25 Sarnoff will sneak in a pocket item and pass without any public objection since they won't know giving karu and ice palace 24 hour licenses for wmc, yet he wants to roll back hours. The guy is a hypocrite. Newtimes you should man up and ask him why he is going to give them the exemption on the 11th or 25t without the public having any ability to object.

 
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