Knockin’ Balls

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We've finally found it! A sport for the lazy that actually reeks of high-class refinement. Invented by a rheumatic Frenchie who didn't want to run after a ball, pétanque is deliciously played while standing still. In the same vein as lawn bowling, bocce, or boules, the point is to come close, but not hit, another's balls. Read into that one, Freud.

It's a perfect pastime to play at Miami's Versailles-like palace, the Biltmore Hotel, where you can toss balls on rolling lawns of well-manicured grass while holding a half-priced Veuve Clicquot or Belvedere cocktail. (Cocktails are actually required in this sport in order to counterbalance the weight of the metal balls.) The Biltmore holds pétanque tournaments every Tuesday. If you win, you'll score a free Sunday brunch for two, and if you win the most matches in a month, you'll bag a two-night stay in a luxe room. There's no fee to play; meet at the side lawn next to the Cascade Grill.
Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m., 2010