As the footage rolls during Gas Station Ghost — Recut, we see the news story begin. A cable TV reporter says, "An eerie, luminous, blue, ghostly image caught on surveillance video last Sunday..." The Captain interrupts the broadcast by tossing aside the screen, and we hear the sound of shattering glass.

"Well," he says, "I've taken it upon myself to correct the problem, one news story at a time." The Captain's lap is covered with loose videotape, and he holds a pair of scissors. "Using the latest video editing technology, I've altered the famous segment about the gas station ghost caught on security camera into the way it should have been produced, had the journalist actually done her job." The Captain shares with his audience a look of profound disgust. Then, brightening, he gathers together his pile of loose film. "So! Let's go to the tape." The Captain tosses the film toward the camera, and we're off.

To begin with, the news story looks just like it always did, only now the news anchor says "an eerie, luminous, blue bug caught on surveillance video last Sunday." The gas station is still crowded with people oohing and ahhing. But then! There's the Captain, standing in the gas station with the rest of them! "It was a bug," he says. "A small insect? In front of the lens? See, most security cameras outside are housed in a kind of weather-resistant casing" — the Captain holds up his left hand; floating above it is a rotating computer model of a security camera — "with a piece of glass in front of the lens. And, uh, that was where the insect was crawling."

Captain Disillusion travels beyond YouTube.
Courtesy of Captain Disillusion
Captain Disillusion travels beyond YouTube.

Flash to another witness from the original broadcast: "Angels. There was an angel here." Then a balding man says, "There was an old Indian reservation here, from what I understand" — and there's the Captain again! Punching the bald dude in the face! Baldy goes down!

Another witness notes he's being exploited for "shallow, sensationalist bullshit."

As we get a last look at the entity, the reporter says, "Too bad it's not the ghost of cheap gas prices. Those too are gone with the wind." As the entity flutters away, she concludes, "In Parma, Ohio. I feel like a cheap whore, and I'm going to go kill myself now." 

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