Big Wet Dreams

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There are those lucky few born for the loftiest pursuits, such as the office of the president of the United States of America. Then, there are others, even luckier, who were put on Earth to get their wee-wees and vajayjays wet in exchange for cash money. The rest of us just watch.

Now, if you're a future statesman, stay home and save your reputation. But if you belong to the wee-wee and vajayjay wetters, get lubed this Tuesday at Dream, when Porn to Be a Star drops its pants. Kicking off at 10 p.m., the whole thing's being described as a "fucking house party," but it's uncertain whether that's literal. So show up fully clothed and then go with the flow as DJs Dissmiss, Hugo M, and Icecold dish out the "foreplay" and Ron Luna drops "orgas-mix." As for the rest of us, we'll be there too. You know, just watching. Admission is free for women, and men pay a $20 cover.
Tuesdays, 10 p.m., 2009