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Lesbian mom outs herself on Facebook

Hello, Kitty: After 34 years of being my mom, my lovely mother has become a lady-licking, full-blown lesbian. She and my dad divorced nearly ten years ago, but judging from the parade of guys who followed, I thought she was hetero. She and I aren't close enough to discuss her sex life, but I'm a little hurt that she kept such a big secret. I discovered it on... wait... Facebook. That's right, she's online kissing and hugging other women. I want to ask her about it, but I'm not sure if it's my business. Should I keep quiet or confront her?

Natma Mami

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Hey, Natma: You certainly should not "confront" your mother about anything. Unless you want to get smacked, you need to find a tactful way to ask her. Even better, wait for her to tell you. Yes, she has posted pics on the web for all to see — but could you be misinterpreting her hugs and kisses? And really, that doesn't even matter because it's her business until she chooses to share. And, no, being her "friend" on a website doesn't mean she's posting pics with you in mind. Mom is single, tech-savvy, and probably searching for tail online like everyone else.

I understand you're confused and a little hurt, but once we grow up, we must accept that our parents are people with secrets, desires, and lives that we might not (and might not need to) understand. Do yourself a favor and get off Facebook. Spend more face time with your mom — she just might open up to you on her own.

 
  • Laura 11/06/2009 4:13:00 AM

    I think this is terrible advice. I am in a similar situation. My mother recently moved out of the house (supposedly to be closer to her father, because her mother had just passed away). However, after several months - months in which she rented her own place and rarely saw her father - it became apparent she had other motives. She friended me on facebook, and I was confronted with numerous posts and notes indicating that she was reviewing her life and changing it. She has made no formal declaration to my brother or I that she is leaving my dad, no legal action has been taken and she has not bothered to acknowledge this extreme behavior with anyone in the family. I am not sure of the posters age, but I only recently moved out of my parents house and feel that I atleast deserve a "hey, i'm moving out." Despite this advise column, the fact is parents DO owe some form of information or update to their children... it's jsut a responsibility and form of respect that I feel I am owed. Similarly, I feel that you have a right, and an obligation, to atleast open a conversation in which your mom might be open with. Possibly jsut asking her about if she is currently in a relationship might open the door to whether she is a lesbian or not.

 
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