Because Your Skin Shouldn’t Look Like Pigskin

Stephen Ross’s quest to make the Miami Dolphins the most ridiculous franchise in the NFL is nearly complete. As if getting D-list celebrities that haven’t been relevant since the Clinton administration to sign on as minority owners and hiring T-Pain to ruin the original Dolphins fight song weren’t enough, there’s this: beauty treatments. For men. At the game.

Yes, beginning this Sunday, Jack Black (no, not the actor — he’s still relevant) will provide game-time complimentary skin and body treatments for male season ticket holders in the club level at LandShark Stadium. And if you’re one of the men who actually takes part in this, we would like you to please hand over your season tickets along with your balls to the nearest usher. Oh yeah, the Fins will play the New Orleans Saints in a game of tackle football. Kickoff is at 4:15 p.m. Tickets start at $41.
Sun., Oct. 25, 4 p.m., 2009

 
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