Ears Wide Open

Before monotheism ruined the fun, humans worshipped a female god (hell, yeah!) and held huge outdoor fuck parties to honor the beginnings and endings of seasons. Instead, we now scrunch into hard-backed pews to be lectured, spend our entire Friday nights in the dark because we’re not allowed to flip the lights on, or carry carpets around and set our watches to beep five times day. Thanks a lot, Abraham.

But the organizers of Death to the Sun (a farewell-to-summer festival) say, “Fuck that noise” — they’re on a mission to reclaim Miami for the pagans. The first step was securing the American Legion back yard as the venue, and then signing an orgy-load of local bands such as Electric Bunnies, Surfer Blood, Dino Felipe, and BFGF. And, of course, because capitalism is the evil extension of Judeo-Christian ideology, admission and parking are free, and draft beers cost just two bucks. Add a slip ’n’ slide and a kiddie pool (no joke); six DJs; and art, fashion, video, and tattoo performances, and you’ve got a goddamn religious experience this Saturday. Show up at 1 p.m. and never go home again.
Sat., Sept. 26, 1 p.m., 2009