New Joke City

As Cypress Hill used to say, here is something we can’t understand.

If you were born in Long Island but have lived in Lighthouse Point since the late ’70s, you are not a New Yorker. You are a Floridian. So by all means, wear your ugly New York Mets jersey to LandShark Stadium this Tuesday night at 7:10 and root for your extremely expensive fourth-place team (Watch out for those surging Nats!), but don’t say you’re a New Yorker. You’re not, and neither are you a serious baseball fan, because in choosing to leave your birth state, you’ve relegated yourself to nine live games a year instead of 81. But you love New York, right? That’s why you live in Florida.

Tickets start at $12 for Florida Marlins fans, $12 plus severe cognitive dissonance for Mets fans.
Tue., Aug. 25, 7:10 p.m.; Wed., Aug. 26, 7:10 p.m.; Thu., Aug. 27, 1:10 p.m., 2009