Playboy Dummy

He's in trouble for leaving a condom wrapper in his trash can.

A A A Comments By Raina McLeod Thursday, Jul 30 2009

Hello, Kitty: I've been seeing a girl in Virginia who recently came to Miami for the weekend. She's married but gives me the song and dance that she's going to leave him because he's boring, I'm fun, blah, blah, blah. Usually things are really cool between us, but this time, she found a condom wrapper in my bathroom trash can and flipped out. She screamed that I wasn't into her, said I was just playing her. But I never thought I couldn't fuck anyone else! Now she's acting crazy and throwing herself at guys right in front of me. I've never told her I wouldn't date anyone else. She left Miami on a bad note, and although I want to continue fucking her, I hate the drama. If there's a way I can salvage what we had, I'd like to. But if that last blowup means she expects exclusivity, I want no part of it. Help!

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Stu Pyd

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Hey, Stu: First off, why was she rifling through your trash can? If you don't think her Nancy Drew nosiness indicates a larger problem, you're thinking solely with your dick. Which, ahem, might be the case.

Anyway, it seems she expects exclusivity if she flipped out over evidence of your fucking other chicks. If you can't deal with the (inevitable) flareups and the possibility she might one day divorce her husband to be with you, cut her off. On the flip side, she could be happily married and you could be nothing more than a piece of vacay ass who started taking things too seriously. Perhaps she's just looking for an excuse to cut you off — though that's probably not the case.

Now, if you want to continue seeing her occasionally, you have to play the game a little better. She left for VA in a huff, but you can still smooth things out with her. Your phone, text, and email dialogue should remain as cool and sweet as it was before she found the rubber wrapper. Creating the illusion of exclusivity is easy long-distance, so to keep her in your playbook, do your best to make her feel special when she comes to town. Take out your trash, wash your sheets, hide the Bic Lady shavers — keep your game tight. Most guys are able to satisfy multiple girls in the same area code, so it's your fault she ran across evidence of your fuckin' around. You deserve a spanking. Bad playboy. Bad, bad playboy. Meow.

Got a question? Email kitty@miaminewtimes.com, or visit blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/magic_city_kitty

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