Hello, Kitty: I've been seeing a fellow officer for a while — ever since I was deployed to Kuwait six months ago. This is my second tour. My first ended when I proposed to a fellow officer whom I had been dating. Though we lived together for a while, the relationship pretty much fell apart when things heated up with the new girl. Now I don't I know what I would do without my new girlfriend. But there's a problem. I just got word my ex will be posted here in six weeks. She still wears the engagement ring I got her, has been writing me since I've been here, and expects to rekindle our relationship once she arrives. I admit that in our letters I've played along with the idea of us reconciling, but the truth is I don't want to. She was clingy, jealous, and lacks the spunk of my new girl. She'll be here soon. Please tell me how I can avoid a very uncomfortable situation once she arrives.
Hey, Major: You're quite the playa over there, huh? Good to know the Iraq War is benefiting someone. If you're afraid the situation could get sticky once the original cuddle bunny returns to the Middle East, it might be time to send the letter you've been afraid to send. It's not cool you've been stringing this girl along and playing along with the idea of reconciling. Because you're an officer, I'll assume you're mature. If you've been telling Captain Coochie you might get back together, it's solely up to you to clear this shit up. Plain and simple, tell her you're in a new relationship. Sure, wait a few weeks to make it seem like it's something new. Explain it's something you can't control, but you know it's done with her. Be advised that when she comes, the situation will still be quite uncomfortable. But you asked me how to avoid very uncomfortable, so the rest is up to you. A-ten-hut, Major Dyk. Meow.